Confused Ch. 03

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It was lunch at school and I was waiting at the oak for Anna, nervously wringing my hands together. When we had met earlier that day Anna had not said much and only saying that she wanted to wait until lunch when we could really talk. So here I waited.

I didn’t have to wait long as I saw Anna walk my way. She locked her eyes on mine and my stomach fell at the sight of her sad face. I was not going to be receiving good news.

“Hey,” she said as she sat down next to me under the oak.

“Hey,” I replied. I was still wringing my hands together in my lap and Anna reached over grabbing my right hand. Softly she stroked my hand not saying anything.

I looked over at her after a while and she looked up from her hand stroking mine. “I rang my father last night,” she blew out as if she had been holding her breath in. She looked so tired; it must have been a long night.

“What did you talk about?” I asked in a small voice.

I gave Anna an empathic look and squeezed her hand. “Me going to live with him,” she practically whispered not looking at me.

It was what I had expected, though it still felt like a thousand knives being inserted into my heart. “What does your mum think about it?” I asked.

Anna released my hand. Not looking at me she ran her hands through her long blonde locks, avoiding the question.

“You haven’t told her, have you?”

Anna looked over at me, her eyes starting to well up. “No,” she choked out as a tear slid down her perfect face.

“Anna, it’s ok.” I scooted closer to her and placed my right arm around her shoulders. Anna let her head fall on my shoulder as she started to sob.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, Anna sobbing into my chest and me holding her, not wanting to let her go.

“I’m going to tell her, she’s just been so busy…” Anna said trailing off into thought.

“How about I help you tell her?” I asked.

She looked up at me with wonder in her bleary blue eyes. “You would do that?”

I was surprised she even asked. “Of course, I would do anything for you Anna. I love you,” I said looking at her adoring eyes. Right then I knew that not only did I love her as a best friend, but that I also had a love for her that would never end.

Anna smiled. “I love you too,” she replied and out of nowhere in the middle of school she gave me a quick tender kiss on the lips. “I’m going to miss being able to do that,” she added.

“Well there’s always the holidays.” I smiled down at her.

“I never thought about that,” Anna contemplated, running her hand up and down my thigh mechanically.

“Plus we can always call, email and webcam.” I kept thinking about all the ways we could keep in touch. Maybe with all the technologies these days it would feel like we were never apart.

“Yer,” Anna sighed. “Still aksaray escort not as good as the real thing though.” She ran her hand just a little further up my thigh and beyond my school skirt.

“Anna,” I scolded her. “We’re in the middle of school I don’t think we should be doing that here.” I slid my hand down and grabbed hers just before she hit my panties.

“Spoilsport,” Anna huffed out.

She pouted at me, but I just ignored her. She had been avoiding some very big questions. “When are you leaving?” I asked, getting down to the nitty gritty.

Anna huffed again. “Dad wants me to be packed and ready to leave by next Tuesday, that way I’ve only missed two weeks at my new school.”

Next Tuesday was only a week away. I never imagined it to be so soon. It was all happening so fast, my brain couldn’t keep track of it all. And now that she was definitely leaving I didn’t think it wise for us to get into a relationship and potentially ruin a perfectly good friendship. Did long distance relationships actually ever work? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Anna.

“That’s not very long,” I thought out loud.

Anna sat up and out of my arms. “It’s a bad idea,” she said out of nowhere. “I’m going to tell dad it isn’t going to work, I’ll get a job so mum doesn’t have to work all the time and we won’t have to be apart,” Anna rambled.

“Anna stop!” I said grabbing both her hands. “You have to do this for you, so you can be a fantastic doctor some day. You’re not going to achieve that here,” I tried to persuade her.

Anna deflated a bit. “I can still do that if I stay here to finish high school though. I don’t have to go off to Sydney to do that,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“Anna,” I said softly squeezing both of her hands in mine. “Are you still going to get a free ride through university though if you stay?”

Anna’s head bent down. “No.” Then lifting her head again with a grin said, “but if I get a scholarship, that won’t even matter anyway.” Why did she have to make this conversation more difficult than it already was? She was not going to win.

“Even so,” I said. “But, what happens to your mum then? If you take up your father’s offer she would finally be able to get some rest.” Anna made a move to open her mouth, but I interrupted her, guessing her new line of thought. “She’s not going to let you get a part time job, Anna. As long as you’re here she is going to make sure she works herself into the ground providing for you and you know it.” I hated to be the bad guy in this situation. I could tell Anna knew all this, she just needed someone to convince her without a doubt that she was making the right choice and that was my job, as her best friend. My feelings for her be damned!

“Plus you’ve already told your dad you’re coming and I know how you hate to go back on your word.” She just gave me a deathly stare. I knew her too well ataköy escort for her own good.

“Ok, you’re right. I’m going. It’s for the best, I was just experiencing some doubts,” Anna sighed out, her eyes going soft again.

“It’s just…” Anna proceeded to say as tears sprung to her eyes. “I’m going to miss you so much,” she choked out before throwing herself at me, hugging me close.

“Me too,” I whispered into her hair, as I proceeded to rub her back comfortingly.

That day when I got home from school I went straight up to my room. I didn’t want to see anyone. My head was spinning, what was I ever going to do without Anna? I loved her and she me, but now that was not going to turn into anything more as she was leaving next week. Anyway, Anna and I had not really discussed our little intimate encounter in her room. I think we both knew that conversation would just hurt too much now, so besides the odd touch or kiss there, we just ignored our new found feelings.

I was lying on my bed facedown softly crying into my pillow, as I heard a knock at the door. I ignored it at first, but then a worried voice asked, “Viv are you all right?”

I sat up as I heard Rob’s voice, wiping my sore eyes with my hands. “Come in,” I said.

Slowly Rob opened the door and popped his head in. When he saw that I had been crying he immediately made his way over to my bed. “What’s wrong sis?” he asked sitting down next to me before taking me in his arms.

I sniffled into the crook of his neck and collar bone for a few minutes before pulling back. “I’m sorry,” I said pulling my hand across my eyes again.

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about,” Rob said consoling me. “But, I would like to know what has gotten you so upset.” I couldn’t think of anyone better to share my troubles with.

“Anna’s leaving to live with her father.” Rob looked a bit shocked as I looked at him, then his expression changed to one of sympathy. He knew what it was like to lose some of your best friends. Rob’s closest friends had all left for the city, not wanting to stay in the small town.

“Oh, Viv I’m sorry,” he said taking my hand in his. I must’ve given him a very troubled look as he had to ask, “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

I let my breath out. I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding it in. Finally I wouldn’t have to hide my feelings anymore. “I love Anna,” I said in a rush.

Rob gave me a confused look.

“I love Anna more than a friend,” I clarified for him.

I could see the realization finally dawn over his face. “What are you going to do?” he said in concern for me.

“I’m not going to do anything. I have to let her go; she has her own life to live.” I ran my hands through my hair. Why did everything always have to be so complicated?

Rob scooted across the bed towards me and reached out for me. I moved towards him enclosing him ataşehir escort in a hug. “You’re too good for your own good Viv,” Rob said stroking my hair. Maybe he was right, but don’t they say you have to let the ones you love go free, or something like that. I was just glad someone finally knew. I hated not being able to be with Anna, but at least now I had the support of my big brother.

“VIVIAN…ROB,” Mum yelled from down stairs. “DINNER’S READY.”

We pulled apart from our embrace. “Whenever you need to talk I’ll be here for you,” Rob said still stroking my hair.

“I know.” I nodded my head. “Thanks,” I added.

“Anything for you.” He smiled his brilliant smile at me. “Lets go; I’m starved,” Rob groaned.

I laughed at him. We both loved our food. “Come on.” I jumped off the bed and pulled him along behind me, for now I could forget my troubles.

One Week Later

It was here; the day Anna was leaving. I had helped her pack all the things she would ever need and then some. Grace would be driving her to the Airport in the next town over to catch her flight in the early afternoon. When we had gone to Grace on the Wednesday and told her about Anna going to live with her father she was furious, good thing I was there for backup. If Anna wasn’t eighteen I have no doubt Grace would have held her by force, but as she was able to make her own decisions, Grace could do nothing. However, it had taken her most of the week to get it in her head that there was no stopping Anna from going, though she did have some weak moments when we were together. I just stayed as objectionable as possible and for a week held my feelings in. I could tell if I even mentioned to Anna I didn’t want her to go she wouldn’t, my opinion was too important to her.

“You better not cry, Viv,” Anna said looking deep into my eyes. “You know if you start crying then you’re just going to set me off again.” Anna had shed tears galore today. Every time she would think of the things she would miss she would break down.

“I’m not crying, the sun’s in my eyes,” I said squinting. Well…it was a hot day, maybe she would believe my lame excuse for the growing wetness in my eyes.

“Yer Sure.” Anna smirked at me. Maybe she didn’t quite believe me.

“Ok Anna honey, you ready to go?” Grace said in a not so happy voice. She was still not happy with Anna going.

Anna gave me a grave look then whipped her head around towards her mum and nodded. I knew she wasn’t speaking because she was too overwhelmed.

She wouldn’t look back at me as Grace put her luggage into the car and got ready to leave. “Anna,” I said touching her arm lightly.

Without a word from Anna she spun around and latched herself onto me. “I’ll ring you before I get on the plane,” she choked out.

“Ok,” I whispered into her silky blond hair. God was I going to miss her, but we had planned all the ways to stay in contact and in a year I would hopefully be off to university too. We wouldn’t be without each other forever. I knew we would find our way back to each other.

And here’s something to look forward to:

Chapter 4

10 years later


Cliff-hanger…Oooo. What will happen next?

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