From The Jukebox: Freak Me

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“Bullshit!” my friend since year five of college Jeff exclaimed slamming his half empty bottle of beer on my dining room table. The cards on the table shifted slightly, as his wife rolled her eyes. “Dude that is such utter bullshit,”

“No bullshit,” I said. “I was 23 at the time and…fuck it, I’ll get the video and prove it,”

“Oh hell no!” my fiancée Lynn shouted. “What the fuck? How the hell,” she paused flustered. “Why the hell am I just learning about this shit?”

I shrugged. “I guess to avoid this,”

“But damn…four years,” she replied calmer. “I’ve known you four years and this is the first time I have heard about this,” she shook her head, her long thick hair moving like waves upon the shore. “I don’t have a problem about it; I have a problem with just learning about this shit,”

“Me too,” Jeff said. “Dude really, why the fuck have I not seen the video,”

“Here, here,” his wife Nancy replied.

“Hang on,” I knew exactly where it was. I watched it at least once a month, which I thought was still kind of egotistical. I grabbed the DVD, and walked back to the den and turned on my big screen.

Nancy was the first to grab a seat. “Can we get some popcorn,” she said with a giggle.

I hit play, and sat down next to Lynn, who soon managed to somehow snake herself around my body. I looked at her nipples protruding through her lacy pink bra and form fitting t-shirt. “You close enough?”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I just want to stop Nancy from raping you later,”

“This ain’t gay porn is it,” Jeff quipped from my love seat. His right hand clutched a new bottle of Lowenbrau.

“Ha, ha,” I replied. “Don’t make your side job mine,”

“I’d still watch it,” Nancy replied giving me a wink, and a sly smile.

Jeff looked at her. “You are such a horn dog,” he said laughing,

“Arf” Nancy barked. “I’ll be your bitch later,” she to him with a wicked wink.

Jeff laughed some more, and then he looked back at me. “So, what sexy ass bitch did you get to fuck? Lisa Lipps, Ice LaFox? Oh, I know, I know, Audrey Bitoni!”

“I like her,” Nancy replied. “Audrey has great tits,”

“Nope,” I replied. “I got to fuck my two favorite porn stars of all time-“

“Dude,” Jeff stood up and dropped to his knees. “You fucked jenna Jamison and Tera Patrick? I do indeed bow down to thee.”

“No,” I said.

“Oh, oh” Nancy cried. “You fucked Briana Banks and Mercedes,”

“Who?” Jefff relplied.

“You know, Mercdes, that sexy Latina with the pouty lips and great ass,”

“Dang Nancy,” Lynn replied. “You are a stone cold freak,”

“And that’s why I love her,” Jeff said kissing her hand.

“No, no, no,” I replied. “I got to fuck Hunny Cummings and Tiara Regins,”

The room fell quiet, as if somewhere music stopped playing. They all looked at me for a moment. Nancy was the first to speak. “And who the hell are they?”

I looked at her incredulously. “Only two of the top porn stars of the late 80’s and 90’s,”

“Did you fuck them in the 90’s?” Lynn replied. “I mean porn stars don’t exactly age well. I imagine they look beat to hell,”

“Yeah Dr. Who,” Jeff said laughing. “What, did you travel back in time to when they were hot?”

“No,” I said exasperated. “I fucked them when I was in college, about a year before you and I met,”

Nancy opened her mouth, then closed it, thought for a moment, and then spoke. “I mean…gee…how was it…fucking old pussy?”

“Nancy they were in their forties,” I replied. “That is not old,”

“In dog years,” she said. “That is an eternity. And those bitches have been fucked and sucked-“

“Age ain’t nothin’ but a number,” Lynn replied backing me up, as she ran her fingers through my hair. “Alliyah said that,”

“And they proved it,” I said. “Outside of my Silky Angel,” I said rubbing Lynn slowly up and down her back lingering longer at the small of her back, tracing her tattoo. “Fucking those two women was the best sexual experience of my life,”

“Aww,” Lynn said smiling. “I’m the best fuck you ever had,” She kissed me. “So,” Lynn replied. “How did you become a porn star?”

I shrugged, or tried to, but Lynn still had me in a body lock. “Like I said, it was junior year, or for me, year four of college. My birth day was a week away, and well…I needed money, so I answered an ad online….”

Five Years earlier….

I got off the bus, clutching my duffel bag, my heart beating out of control. I brought dic hardening pills, didn’t cum for two weeks, as well as some GABA and L-theanine pills to relax my body, and if all else failed I had a handful of Xanax.

The walk from the bus stop to the set was a nice one, which allowed me to relax. Waling always relaxed me. I mean damn, I was nervous. I mean, I could fuck, or at least so I have been told, and my dic has been measured by expert female hands to be around ten inches long. But porn was something different. I was about to get paid for sex, and the idea both thrilled, and scared the hell out of me.

I arrived at 615 Fredrick’s, and looked at the three-story row home in the middle of a block full of Escort Kız retails stores and specialty shops. I took a deep breath, and opened the door to reveal a steep stairway leading to a dim hallway. I felt my heart beat faster. So I popped a xanax, took a deep breath and walked up the stairs.

“You got this,” I mumbled under my breath. “You got this….” I knocked on the door.

It took a minute or so, before the door opened enough to allow a single eye to stare at me. “Yeah,” a deep voice said.

“Uh,” I said. “I’m here for the shoot,”

The door slammed shut. I heard a series of clicks before it opened again, “Come on in,”

I looked at the guy who let me in, swallowing hard. “I guess you are security,”

The guy, who reminded me of a brunette Brock Lesnar, nodded his head, held up one of his tree trunk arms and pointed behind me to the left. “The changing room is that way,” he said gruffly. “The set is around the corner from that,” he looked at me. “First timer?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said my voice cracking slightly.

He grinned. “Relax bro,” he replied. “I been doing security on shit like this for years. Ignore the people, the cameras and just focus on the pussy,” he paused. “But those lights are a son of a bitch,”

“Cool, thanks,”

I thought there would be a bunch of guys in the changing room with me, but I was alone in a room that strangely reminded me of my own. So I took my pills, stripped and took a deep breath. I looked at the xanax. “Fuck it,” I said and took it. I was really chill now. But to be safe, I took a napkin and took a spare xanax and dic pill.

I walked out naked at first, before I saw a single white robe hanging on a hook in a corner of the room. I put it on, and walked out to the set.

The set, which was in fact a loft apartment, was brightly lit, just like Fake Brock said. I could feel the heat radiating from the lights as I got closer to the set. The site before me was wild as shit. I just grinned, captivated by what I saw.

The director was watching both the live action and a nearby monitor. Two cameras were positioned, each out of the view of the other. A boom mic was suspended high above, and a skinny dude with glasses held it steady as it sat on a stand. To my right was a girl sitting in a hair salon chair, and in front of a litany of makeup and other shit that women slapped on their face. She looked at me from behind a pair of black and gold frame glasses. “Hey sugar,” she replied. “Open your robe,”

I did as told, and she looked me up and down. “Ok,” she said. “Drop it let me see the back,” Once again, I was obedient, and she appraised me. “Ahh,” she took a can, shook it, and sprayed my left ass cheek. She then took a brush from off a belt she wore, and danced it across my backside. I just noticed the belt and the fact she wore glasses. “Got it,” she hit on the back. “You are all ready, don’t sit for ten minutes, and keep the robe loose,” she walked away, allowing me to see her ass was just as robust as her bosom. “Nice cock by the way,”

“Thanks,” I hissed putting the robe on. I looked at the set and went back to watching the raunchy sex scene as it finished shooting. The duo met each other thrust for thrust as he held her waist, slamming relentlessly into her from behind.

“Fuck me, fuck me harder,” she begged breathlessly. I noticed her face began to color, as her eyes rolled back as a slow smile spread across her face. She gave a slight giggle. “Fuck,” she said her head falling to the bed.

The male talent was looking at his cum coated cock, slamming into her five more times before he pulled out screaming as hot thick strands of his cum covered her smooth, round ass. The actress, a very sexy MILF type who I did not recognize, rubbed the hot cum around on her ass, before licking it off her hand as she looked into the camera. “Fuck yeah,”

“And cut,” the director said. Then he looked at me. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Uh I’m Devon-“

“Oh yeah,” he said interrupting me. “The kid who answered the ad in that college paper. I remember now, you are a first timer,”

The woman who just finished the scene gave a slight giggle as she looked me up and down. “You gon put a first timer with those two?”

I heard nothing after two, for it was my all time fantasy to have a threesome. I mean I did once, but that involved my first undergrad roommate Charlie, and I banging some cheerleader named Beth who just had to have some dic one drunken evening. Hell, I didn’t even cum.

“You hear me kid,’ the director was saying.

I nodded jarred back to reality, not knowing what the fuck he said.

“Good,” he said. “Now, kid, tell me your porn name,”

“Uh,” I said. “I didn’t think of that,”

“You gotta have a porn name; don’t want this shit to come up if someone Googles’ your name,” he sighed. “Just go with the first thing that pops into your mind,”

I paused, “Brian Jacme,”


“Big Dick Longfellow,”

He shook his head.

“Denzel Orgasmiton,”

He just looked at me shaking his head. “Manny!” he yelled. A short Latino dude ran up to him, a sandwich in his left hand. “Yeah boss,”

“Stop calling me that,” the director said. “Give this kid a porn name,”

“Cool boss,” Manny looked at me for a moment or two before he said. “Matthew McFuckeya,”

“Alright, alright, alright,” the director replied deadpan. “Make shit for the credits.” He looked at me, “Now go on upstairs, meet the girls and talk, and whatever you do, don’t get hard,” he paused looking up another set of stairs. “May God help you,”

I nodded and went upstairs, hearing laughter behind me. “Better pray boy,” Manny yelled.

I suddenly found it hard to swallow as I climbed yet another steep staircase. Who the fuck was up here? I paused before I knocked on the door. My dic was on full alert.

“Oh hey Hunny, scratch my back,” I heard a familiar voice say.

“Bitch please, do I look like a back scratcher?”

I almost shed a tear. In one day I was about to make some much needed cash, make a porn and now…fuck, get to live a wet dream come true.

In one directors chair sat the sexiest Latina porn star ever: Lucinda Torres aka Tiara Reigns. I can’t remember how many times she made me cum after I found her on the Internet. She aged gracefully, looking almost the same as she did twenty years earlier. I watched her intently as she applied makeup to cover a weak set of crow’s feet around her gorgeous hazel eyes. She wore a bra and jeans. “Fuck,” she said in a sexy Brooklyn accent. “I hate these fucking crows feet,”

“Welcome to forty bitch,” said Josie Washington aka Superfly Hunny Cummings who was best known for her round robust ass, natural hairstyle, and the distinction of making some of porn’s best male stars blow their load too soon after receiving one of her legendary blow jobs. When I first learned about Hunny Cummings, she became the first woman and the first black woman, I ever jerked off too. She wore a t-shirt, which barely contained her big, pretty tits

Hunny noticed me first, smiling as our eyes met. “Bitch look,’ she said. “Fresh meat,”

“Why everything gotta be bitch?” Tiara asked applying mascara. “Bitch get me a burger, bitch, get the door, bitch get my bitch,” she shook her head. “People only curse for they lack the words to express their thoughts,”

“Bitch please,” Hunny replied, as I faded out of the picture. “Who got a near perfect score on their SAT verbal?”

Tiara grinned. “Really,” she replied looking at me. “You bringing up a test you took before this sensuous, nubile young man, standing with his mouth agape staring lustfully at us as we bicker was even born?”

“Bitch don’t try using big words on the sly to outshine me,” she looked at me from the mirror, “Watch this shit,’ she then turned to face Tiara. “Define bicker,”

“To quarrel, disagree-“

“Too easy, too easy,” Hunny said. “Define protrude,”

Tiara looked at me licking her sexy full lips, “To stick out, like his cock,”

Hunny turned to look at me. “Aw hell naw!”

She got up out of the chair so fast, I took a step back-

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Dude,” Jeff said laughing. “You got punked by a girl,”

“Shit,” I said drawing out the I, “Your ass would have backed up too,”

“Man, you never said this thing had a plot,” Nancy whined looking at the TV. “I want to see some-” she paused, as her desire satiated, as the first scene in the video began. “Houston we have dic,”

Lynn tapped my shoulder, “Uh go on please,”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I swallowed hard. “Uh,”

“Uh,” Hunny said, her breath smelling of vanilla. “Uh, why the fuck you hard?”

Then I remembered. “No need to worry Miss Cummings,” I replied. “I will be sure to be limp when its time to fuck,”

“You hear this young boy T,” Hunny replied, “Miss Cummings, well, I guess that shit is better than Ma’am.” She looked me in the eyes, “Young Boy we about to fuck, so no need for formalities. Call me Hunny, and she’s my bitch,”

Tiara snorted, somehow making it sounded sexy. “If anybody is the bitch in our relationship it’s you bitch,”

Hunny waved her hand, “Whatever bitch,” she paused. “Fuck you laughing for,” she grabbed my dick through the robe. “This shit better be limp by the time the camera starts rolling motherfucker,” she held me tight, and as I looked into her deep natural hazel yes, I was doing anything but going limp. “But damn, your hot,” I blurted out.

“Aww,” Tiara sang, “He’s so cute,” she folded her hands underneath her chin. “What about his cock? Is it dreamy?”

“Whiteboy packin'” Hunny replied matter of factly. “White boy packin’ I just know that shit will be limp.” She said, caressing my semi hard dic. I ain’t above taking a chunk out of a hard dic,”

“See,” Tiara replied. I couldn’t help but stare at her legs, imagining one on each shoulder with her pretty scarlet colored toes pointing upwards as we fucked our way to a-

“So see,” Tiara was saying. “That’s why yo’ dic has to be limp,”

I blinked, “Uh.”

“In other words,” Hunny said you go on set with a hard cock, I don’t get my bonus, which is going to pay off my Mercedes. So get limp, or get fucked up,”

I nodded, “Limp it is Miss-” her eyes narrowed. “Hunny,” I managed to pull a weak smile from somewhere deep in my asshole.

“Hmm,” she replied rubbing my softening dic. “Tiara, come see this shit limp,” Hunny said.

I closed my eyes, immersed by the soft caress of Hunny’s hand as I heard Tiara’s heels click across the floor. “Oh my” I managed to open my eyes as Hunny let me go and walk away. “Nice,” Tiara replied.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“I didn’t know you liked black chicks,” Lynn said, visibly aroused.

“Uh, well I didn’t think it was something to talk about with my wife to be,”

“Honey, we will soon vow to make one another happy, in all ways possible. So I need to know what you like,” she grinned. “Hell I always knew you liked Latin women,” she laughed. “You were so disappointed I couldn’t speak Spanish,”

“How in the hell could you grow up in a Spanish speaking household and not speak Spanish?” I exclaimed laughing.

“The same way you got folks here in America, who grew up here and can’t speak a lick of English,”

“Shh,” Nancy said. “We are in the middle of foreplay,”

“This is the scene I walked in on,” I said. “Mine’s next,”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So,” Tiara said smiling at me from her director’s chair, looking even hotter in person. “How did you end up on this career path?”

I grinned, feeling calmer already. “I need money,”

“Good a reason as any,” She replied. “You a college boy?”

“Yes,” I replied. And for some reason I felt a surge of boldness, “And dare I say, a big fan of yours,”

She smiled at me, and it was, before I met Lynn of course, the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.”So, is fucking me a fantasy come true?” she said shooting me a sexy look.

I swallowed hard my cock starting to stir. “Yes ma’am,”

“Well,” She laughed. “At least you are honest,” she replied her eyes never leaving mine. “Is fucking Hunny a dream come true as well?”

“Uh, well yeah,” I replied sheepishly. “But I uh…to be honest I w_”

Tiara stood up, her sheer black lace top with blue trim opened slightly, exposing her still firm 36C chest. My eyes traveled to the thong she wore as her hips glided her muscular legs towards me. With each sensuous step, my heart beat faster and my mind raced with thoughts of us entwined fucking like crazy.

She stood near me, her heels allowed her eyes to be at level with my nose. I drowned in her green eyes, and my dic got so hard, it poked from the confines of the robe. “Wanna fuck me more,” she breathed finishing my thought before our lips met.

Lynn looked at me, feeling my erection beneath my jeans. “Having a flashback?” she said raising her left eyebrow in that sexy way, causing my dic to throb.

“That was then,” I said kissing her lightly on her sexy full lips. “You are now,” I replied.

She rubbed my cock through my pants, grinning. “Nice answer,”


“Well, I want to go to Spring Break in Cabo San Lucus next year,” I said passing the joint back to her as Adina Howard’s “Freak Like Me” played in the background, “I figured this would be a quick and legal way to earn some cash,” I smiled, my inhibitions long gone, “And I am damn glad I did,” I blatantly looked her up and down.

“Hmm, I’m flattered,” she replied. “Nice to have a fan, and not some nut case with a fetish for,” she held up two fingers on each hand like quotation marks “MILF pussy,” she took a hit. “Shit,” she said not letting any smoke escape. Needless to say, my new to weed smoking ass, that was an amazing feat. “I don’t even have any fucking kids, so how in the hell can I be a MILF?”

She exhaled, and looked me in my yes, “Why is it, a woman loses her beauty as she ages but men get distinguished,”

I shrugged, “That’s some shit you gotta take up with who the fuck they are. Frankly, I think you’re fucking beautiful,” I patted her thigh. “You look great for,” I paused as she handed the cigar back to me. “Whatever age you are,” I took a hit. “I’d bet you will still be hot when you are ninety,”

She looked at me grinning, “You mean that shit don’t you with your high, sexy, nice cock havin ass,” She laughed taking the joint from me, and took a deep toke, before she put it out in a glass ashtray. “Now, to avoid any drama with my bitch, get limp, and I will see you soon,”

I heard the shower go off, as I watched Tiara and her succulent ass sashay across the room. The door opened, revealing the stunning Hunny, with a towel around her torso and her hair. “Yeah,” she was saying to Tiara as she walked past her into the bathroom. “First one to cum has kitchen duty for a month,” she said closing the door. Sheglided to the makeup counter, and unraveled the towel from around her head. Hunny had high cheekbones, and hazel cat eyes, which grew even narrower when she smiled. She turned on her MP3 player and soon after, I heard the familiar strands of Silk’s number one hit.

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