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Butterflies flitted and danced in her stomach. Roma would have to leave within the next 10 minutes if she wanted to be in time for her meeting. She swept the kohl stick across her eyes highlighting the sultriness of her features.
‘”Will he notice?”
She was standing before the mirror checking her appearance one last time. She told herself that she didn’t care whether he noticed. But the butterflies fluttering inside her were proof she was lying to herself. She remembered how Aryan had emphatically said, “I have to meet you.”
Of course he also said he would need to hand over the documents in person since he failed to reach the courier service in time, but all that seemed irrelevant now. The urgency in his tone portended a different purpose for his desire to meet her.
Three years had passed since their last coupling. Roma was pregnant then, with his child. She still couldn’t understand why their child became the reason they split up. Initially there were just disagreements, soon followed by arguments. They both said hurtful, unforgivable things to each other. Aryan was not ready for a baby and blamed her for the pregnancy. She was not ready for a baby and was angry with him for acting immature and unsupportive.
Things only seemed to get worse between them so Roma suggested they give each other some space to figure things out. He obliged, generously. With the exception of the occasional obligatory phone call during birthdays and festivals he disappeared from her life. The times they did speak, he never enquired about the child that had driven them apart. It felt as if he resented the baby for replacing him in her life.
For three years she avoided meeting him. He never saw their beautiful daughter and he never asked to either. He just didn’t seem to care. Roma couldn’t bear to be around someone who refused to even acknowledge the existence of her daughter. Unfortunately all her other feelings for him didn’t just go away. She still wanted him, desired to feel him deep inside her, to fill her the way he used to, the way only he could, but, she couldn’t forget how Aryan had hurt her, abandoned her and left her to deal with everything all alone on her own.
It was three years since a man had even held her or caressed her. She tried dating but couldn’t feel the connection to allow any kind of intimacy to develop with the men she met. After a point she lost count of the nights she cried in longing. Her inability to bring her own climax only added to her frustration. She longed to feel her breasts smashed against Aryan’s hard chest. But she was too proud to say these things to him on the rare occasions that he did call. Instead she spoke with him as she would perhaps any casual acquaintance. She never even hinted at the mess Aryan had left her in.
She chose their meeting place, a crowded mall, as she wasn’t certain she could trust herself to be alone with him. Once again she wondered about how he felt about her now. He expressed guilt about the way he had behaved, but never any regret or a desire to reconcile. She knew he longed for her too, well, she hoped anyway.
Roma smoothed down the front of her dress and wondered if Aryan would notice the changes in her body. Her ass was softer and rounder now and her breasts had grown heavier since the baby. Would he find her body more appealing now, she asked herself, or would he be put off by it. He was athletic and appreciated people who took care of their bodies. The thought unnerved her. She considered changing her clothes. Perhaps a pantsuit would make her appear leaner and more defined instead of the shapeless summer dress she was wearing. She had picked the dress because it felt modest. She didn’t notice how the low neckline teased with a glimpse of her creamy orbs.
As she pushed another unruly curl back into place she laughed at herself. She was embarrassed by the nervous anxiety she was feeling over meeting someone who had caused her so much hurt and grief. She reminded herself that she didn’t need to look good for him but another part of her pointed out that it couldn’t hurt to show him what it was he’d been missing all this time.
She panicked when she spotted the time on the hallway clock. If she didn’t leave right away she would be late. Throughout the course of their relationship one of Aryan’s pet peeves was that she always left him wait for her. The last thing she needed now was to give him an excuse to get started on that again.
She slipped on a pair of sandals and took off. As she ran to stop a taxi she realized how wobbly her footwear felt. Roma cursed under her breath for not trying on the sandals before. She always wore heels around Aryan when they went out together because he loved to admire her ass. But she stopped wearing them after the baby- they just weren’t practical any more. So she wasn’t aware of how her sandals made her ass jut out invitingly or the jiggle which accompanied every step she took.
Once seated in the cab she gave directions etimesgut escort to the driver and fell back into her reverie. “Does he miss me?” the words weighed heavily on her mind.
So caught up was she in her thoughts she didn’t realize she reached her destination till the cabbie asked her for the fare a second time. She quickly paid the driver and rushed out. Once more her legs wobbled. This time she was uncertain if the problem was due to the heels or her knees.
Roma had suggested they meet in one of the crowded coffee shops inside. She picked the Coffee Shop because of its open layout. There were no secret nooks or corners or large potted plants providing even the semblance of privacy. She hated Aryan for the way he’d left things between them but she wasn’t foolish enough to deny the passion between them. She had always found it hard to resist him. Even after their fights he always managed to get her body to respond no matter what her frame of mind. So no, she absolutely didn’t trust herself to be alone with him. As far as she was concerned even meeting him was playing with fire.
The realization that she was most likely tempting fate by meeting him Roma lost her courage and considered turning back. She told herself she could call Aryan and ask him to hand the documents over to someone else. If she used their baby as an excuse to stand him up he wouldn’t even question her. In that moment she comprehended that it was best if she continued maintaining a distance from him, just as she had the past three years. Having made up her mind Roma spun around on her heels to hail a cab. As she raised her arm to stop a taxi she sensed him. Even before she actually saw him Roma knew that Aryan was standing beside her, staring.
“Sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” Her heart skipped a beat. Roma had longed to hear Aryan say those same words but in a different context.
“You couldn’t have been waiting too long though, right?”
She thought she saw him smile but wasn’t sure as she was avoiding looking directly at him. Her mind was racing with a million thoughts; the butterflies had returned with a vengeance and she heard her heart race so loud that she was sure that everyone was looking at her for the noise she was making. She opened her eyes and looked around- everything appeared to be normal while he stood there, looking at her expectantly. Then she remembered that he had asked her a question.
“Right. No. Just got here.”
Was that really her voice Roma wondered; it had sounded so harsh and strained.
Aryan nodded, “Good. Let’s go in.”
She felt his fingers on the small of her back negotiating her towards the entrance of the mall. Her resolve to back out melted. Besides she was too tongue-tied to talk her way out of this now. She saw no choice but to go through with this meeting. Besides, she figured, it shouldn’t last more than 30 minutes after which she’d probably never meet Aryan again.
While walking in Roma looked at him sideways, trying to catch a glimpse of his expression but she was unable to see his face as he was a step ahead of her and several inches above. She used to tease Aryan when they were together by calling him a ‘freak’ for being so tall. He was 6’3″ and because he played rugby at one of the local clubs for years he had developed a muscular body.
The thought of Aryan’s body produced a momentary flash from the past- Roma sinking her teeth into his muscular shoulder while she rode him through her orgasm. She let out an involuntary moan, which she didn’t realise was audible till she saw Aryan stop and stare at her blankly. She felt mortified but gained courage after she managed to convince herself that he would have in all likelihood failed to recognize the sound. He turned to face forward but she caught the smirk on his face before he did; he knew. She was annoyed with the unfairness of the situation. He still seemed to affect her while remaining oblivious to her.
Roma had never seen Aryan so casually dressed. Unlike her, he seemed to have put little thought into his attire- an old pair of jeans, a button down shirt and sneakers.
“Sneakers!” she thought in disbelief, “He comes wearing sneakers and jeans when I’ve spend hours fretting and fussing about what I should wear.”
She was upset at him for the lack of effort on his part when she had put so much thought in hers. And yet it all seemed to be lost on him. This made her furious and she walked a little faster, away from the guidance of the fingers pressed against her back. However she had miscalculated her strides. The sudden change in pace coupled with her high heels and jelly knees made her stumble forward.
Fortunately for Roma, he grabbed her by the waist in time. She would’ve thanked him for his timely catch if not for the snicker that quickly followed. She glared at him and straightened herself. He didn’t let go of her waist and she would’ve suspected that there was some tenderness in the way he held her if not for the sincan escort smirk on his face.
“Damn him!” she cursed in her mind.
After what felt like an eternity to Roma, they were finally seated in the coffee shop. Just as she hoped there were plenty of people and no privacy. Aryan chose to sit on the vacant chair to her right instead of opposite her; his back to the people in the cafe. Because the table was small and his legs so long they were stretched under the table blocking the movement of her legs. As she sat there now Roma felt her bare knees pressed against the side of his thighs. She almost groaned from the intimacy of the contact but checked herself in time. She wasn’t going to give him the pleasure of knowing how much he still affected her.
She couldn’t tell if he deliberately sat the way he did to unnerve her; his face indicated that his mind seemed to be elsewhere. It was as if he’d forgotten about her and drifted off to another place. Roma felt confused.
“He is the one who called and said he needs to meet me. If he didn’t want to be here he could’ve just passed the docs on through someone else!”
Neither spoke, their situation made small talk impossible. He signalled to the waitress for the menus and then looked at her. For a second she could’ve sworn that she caught him staring down the neckline of her dress, except that, given how much taller he was, he could’ve simply been looking down at her.
Roma didn’t like that; no one was going to look down on her, least of all him. She pulled herself up and straightened her back and her neck and finally lifted her chin up defiantly to be in level with his face. Before either of them could speak the waitress was there to hand them the menus.
It was past lunch hour and her nerves had prevented her from eating anything all day, so she was not surprised at how hungry she suddenly felt. At the same time Roma wanted to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible and a meal would only add to the time.
“Have you eaten yet?”
His question startled her because of the nearness of his voice. The noise of the café made it impossible to hear another person unless they were talking directly into the other’s ear. He wasn’t looking at her though; he appeared to be studying the menu before him.
“Yes,” she lied while her stomach treacherously growled on cue.
Aryan laughed at the sound.
“Come on, pick something to eat. I skipped lunch and I’m ready to pass out. And from the sound your stomach’s making you seem hungry too.”
He sounded sincere enough, so she agreed. They waited for the waitress to return with their order. Roma looked up at him, once more mustering the courage to speak but stopped short. Aryan engrossed in his thoughts was drumming away at the table. Watching his slender fingers tap the table reminded her of the numerous times he had tapped away at her clit coaxing her into an orgasm. Her mouth felt very dry all of a sudden but her nether lips seemed to be growing wetter by the thought. She squirmed on her seat.
He looked up at her, brought out of his reverie by her sudden movement; her squirming had caused her knee to rub into his thigh. She imagined she caught a wicked grin flash across his face as if he had just read her mind. Fortunately for her the waitress had returned to the table before he could say anything- if he had been ready to say something.
Roma nibbled on the muffin she ordered with her cappuccino while Aryan chomped away on his sandwich with the mayonnaise dripping down the side. He was such a messy eater.
“Slob,” she said to herself. His poor table manners had always annoyed her. What used to annoy her even more was his habit of eating a sandwich in bed after sex. And if he happened to drop any crumbs on her, something he did often enough, he would just lick them straight off of her.
The memory of his skilful tongue made her skin tingle. Roma squirmed once more. And like before the movement was not lost on Aryan who was looking at her now. She could feel him looking at her but she kept her gaze focused on the muffin in her hand, refusing to look up at him. She was pretty sure he could tell she was blushing now.
He leaned in, “Are you hot?” he whispered, making her nearly jump out of her skin.
“Whaaat?” Her response sounding more like a moan.
Aryan drew himself closer to her ear and spoke in what sounded like a whisper again.
“You’re turning red. I figured maybe it’s too hot in here for you.”
Roma’s hair was sitting in waves around her face and shoulders; maybe why he didn’t realize she was blushing.
“Yeah,” she said shrugging her hair off her shoulders and proceeded to tie it into a neat little bun above. “Probably coz of the hair being open.”
“It’s so much longer now,” he said staring at her hair. “You should leave it open. It looks nicer. I remember you keeping your hair tied all the time, except…”
She was grateful for the prudence he had shown escort etimesgut by not finishing off his thought because she knew exactly what he was getting at. Often during sex he would grab fistfuls of her hair and grab her before thrusting deeper into her. She would come almost on command when he would grab a hold of her hair and yank her head back towards him while his hips ground into her ass. She squirmed again. This time Roma felt Aryan’s hand grip her knees.
He was looking at her face intently but his hand continued to remain on her knees. Aryan raised the coffee mug to his lips with his free hand. He took a sip, his eyes never leaving her face. She squirmed under his gaze and felt his hand grip her knees tighter still. His touch was like fire on her skin.
“Stop squirming. I haven’t done anything to make you squirm…” His gaze dropped to her cleavage while he licked the foam off his lips suggestively, “…yet.”
The last word rolled out his mouth slow and deliberate, almost like a promise of pleasures to come.
Roma couldn’t take it anymore; her body was hungry for his touch and her longing was getting painful. She needed to get away from him for sense to return. She reminded herself that this was Aryan, the man who had promised to love her and then abandoned her when she was pregnant, with his child. He never came forward, never tried to help, never did anything for her and their baby apart from walking away from their lives.
She wasn’t going to jump into bed with him anytime soon no matter what, she assured herself. Once she had been a fool in love but not anymore. She tried to convince herself that she now hated Aryan and that she simply needed to get away from him to remember that.
She didn’t know if he could actually read her thoughts or simply sense her inner turmoil but before she could rise she felt his other hand on her shoulder, pressing her back into her seat.
His voice was forceful enough to make her succumb to the pressure of his hands. She felt her cheeks burn and could feel the tears building in her eyes.
“Damn it! Damn him,” she was saying to herself. “I’m a 28-year-old woman but he’s making me feel like a shaky little schoolgirl. Why I can’t I just yell at him for the way he’s treated me and walk away?”
It was then that the fog rose from her mind and she remembered things more clearly. She had! Three years ago she was the one who had said all those hateful things and walked away. Aryan hadn’t abandoned her so much as she had pushed him away.
“But he never tried to change my mind,” she stubbornly recalled. He never begged her to give him another chance. He never tried to get involved with their baby; he never offered help.
Roma had loved Aryan’s respect of her independent nature; he never tried to play the macho male around her. He wasn’t submissive but he would without hesitation or embarrassment admit that she wore the pants in their relationship and that he was happy that she did. But when they parted ways she secretly wished that for once he would ignore her wishes and come back anyway.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
Roma didn’t know what it was he was apologizing for because he didn’t explain, he didn’t say anything else. He just sat there, one hand on her shoulder and the other on her knees. He was looking down at the table with a puppy dog look on his face. She couldn’t tell what was going on in his head.
“Ok,” she mewed softly.
Aryan looked up at her and the sight of her smile somehow seemed to chase away the dark thoughts that had clouded his face a few minutes ago. He moved the hand that was resting on her shoulder. Roma felt his fingers artfully trail across her neck and down to her collarbone to pick a strand of hair that had strayed away from the bun. She held her breath while he did that. Aryan noticed and let out a chuckle; she blushed.
The waitress returned to the table to check if they needed anything else. If she noticed anything odd she didn’t let on. Aryan had both his hands planted on Roma’s knees. As the waitress cleared the table he firmly but gently parted her knees.
Roma bolted upright in her seat but didn’t say anything. She held her breath as she felt Aryan’s fingers snaking up the smooth skin of her inner thigh. The waitress turned to leave but he stopped her.
“Wait,” he told the waitress, “I’ve suddenly got the urge to eat something sweet and sticky. What would you recommend?”
Roma was certain that Aryan had looked directly at her when he said ‘sweet and sticky’. As the waitress rambled on about the desserts on their menu she didn’t dare look up at either of them; Roma was completely focused on dulling herself to the exquisite sensation of his fingernail grazing along the taut skin of her inner thigh.
He knew sex in public turned her on. During their time together they had tried it a few times but they were always cautious and never in front of people. She thought about yelling at him and asking him what the hell he was trying to do but the waitress hadn’t left the table.
“Maybe she’s taken in with his disarmingly boyish smile,” she thought. “Is she flirting with him, even while I’m here?”
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