Shuffling Freddie

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Let me say before ‘Anonymous’ attacks my story as being something that is unrealistic and could never have happened, I have personal knowledge of this story. The character of ‘Shuffling Freddie’ is based on a real person, as are the other main protagonists, and the reason for his bizarre behaviour is as depicted in this story. I have merely used my imagination to get inside the heads of those concerned. As in this story the incident was set in a small rural village (where my mother’s family have lived for over a hundred years) and the mores and attitudes of that time and place were as depicted.


It was one of those days and one of those scenes that exist only in picture postcards and I know this because that is my job, I drive around the country looking at the scenery and taking thousands of photos, some of which might eventually end up in calendars or on postcards.

The road wound its way through a wooded valley and beside a stream from which glistened sunlight diamonds. The tall trees bordered the road and stream, enclosing, but not imprisoning, it in a green curtain from which emerged the sounds of life, the birdsong in harmony with the gurgling stream creating a symphony, on which man could never hope to improve.

I pulled off the road and grabbed my camera. I stood and took it all in before walking to the edge of the stream and sitting down, I knew that if I sat patiently the birds would emerge from the trees to investigate my intrusion. I could sit sometimes for hours before the timid creatures showed themselves for my lens, but the wait was often worth it.

My focus was on a small blue wren, its tail twitching as it flirted with its mate, a plain soft brown creature that was obviously interested in the attention. My finger was on the shutter release and the soft sound of the digital camera hardly disturbed them as it recorded frame after frame of their frolicking from twig to twig.

Into this idyll intruded a strange sound, a shuffling sound, that sent the birds higher into the tress but not hiding, just watching. I turned and saw what had attracted their attention, a man, or at least I assumed it was a man, dressed in a huge black overcoat and hat. His shoes and trousers had probably been black at some point, but now were the colour of the gravel verge that clouded his shuffling feet. He noticed my Land Rover just before he shuffled into the back of it, and with head still bowed he detoured briefly around it before resuming his journey through the gravel. I found this scene quite strange and resolved to find out more of this apparition.

As the sound of his muffled step disappeared behind the resumed birdcalls, the birds returned to doing what they had been doing before this obviously familiar occurrence interrupted them. I continued my work, close-ups of the birds and long shots of the scenery, the water rippling over the round stones in the stream bed, the dragon fly helicopters on reed stems, but all the while my mind drifted back to the man on the road.

Packing my gear away I resumed my journey satisfied with my pictures but not satisfied. I had to find out more about this man. A small settlement appeared and I took the opportunity to stop for lunch at the small café.

It was cool inside and as I entered a young woman came from a back room in response to the bell’s tinkling. I looked at the board behind the counter and decided that the hearty beef stew with chips and vegetables sounded just about right. “How are you today? What would you like?” Her voice had the same musical quality as the birdsong, what was it about this place where everything seemed to have the same quality of sound, well almost everything.

“I would like the hearty beef stew please.” I tried not to sound too condescending. “And I would like some home made apple pie with fresh cream and a cup of tea. I think that will be all, thank you.” She had scribbled something on her little pad before excusing herself and leaving through the same door through which she had emerged minutes before. I sat at one of the four tables and took my camera from its case and started scrolling through the photos that I had just taken, deleting those that I didn’t want.

I had just finished my task when she came in with her hands full. A large bowl of stew and a side plate with the chips were followed by another side plate with thick slices of home made crusty bread and a bowl with small pats of butter. The cutlery she placed beside the plate consisted of a fork and knife and when I attacked the stew I realised that the fork was more than adequate, the gravy was so thick it clung to the chunks of meat. “Can I interest you in a glass of red wine to have with your meal, it’s nothing fancy, just a good local wine.”

“That sounds perfect. This is nice, did you cook it yourself?”

“Yes, I can’t afford an executive chef like those fancy city restaurants.”

“Ouch! I asked for that didn’t I?” She chuckled softly to herself as she left to fetch the wine. It was good.

“I wonder, can I ask you a question?”

“Of Tokat Escort course.”

“When I was taking photos a couple of kilometres down the road I was passed by this strange man in black. What’s the story?”

“What you saw was ‘Shuffling Freddie’. He’s something of a legend around here.”

“What’s his story, I assume that there is one?”

“Freddie’s story is a sad one. If you’re not in a hurry I can tell you all about it.”

“I’d like to hear it, it’s could be fascinating.”

She sat down at my table but it was several minutes before she began her story.

“Fred Hodge is from a local family and he’s about fifty years old and every day for the last thirty years, rain or shine, and wearing the same heavy overcoat, he has shuffled along the road between his home just down the road to Smithton and back.”


“I’m coming to that. Fred was a handsome lad and very popular, especially with the ladies and one in particular, Theresa Sylvester, the oldest daughter of twelve kids and a beauty by all accounts. Fred and Theresa were engaged to be married and everything looked rosy for them. But that was when things went horribly wrong for Fred. You have to remember that back then it was customary for young couples to ‘save themselves’ for their marriage bed and Fred was very strong on this. Theresa it seems was not as strong.

Father Patrick was a strapping young priest fresh out of the seminary and this was his first parish. He was a popular man, energetic, well spoken with a ready smile and a quick wit. The locals adored him, and it seems he returned the adoration, at least with the young women, and this included Theresa. Nothing of course was spoken of this at the time, but it was common knowledge that he strayed from time to time, but no-one knew or was talking about who he did it with. It was thought that he sought solace outside the church. Fred was blissfully unaware of any of this, all he could focus on was his forthcoming nuptials and his future with the most beautiful girl in the valley.

“Come in Theresa, how can I help you?”

“Father Patrick, I’m worried about getting married, what it means to be married.”

“You’re not having cold feet are you?”

“No Father, I love Fred dearly and want to be his wife more than anything, it’s just that I don’t really know what to do as a wife, what’s expected of me.”

“You haven’t discussed this with your mother?”

“I have but all that she’ll tell me is that I have to obey him in all things and not to worry about him because he’s a good man. That tells me nothing, it doesn’t tell me what is expected of me in the marriage bed, and she won’t say anything other than to do as he wishes.”

“Why have you come to me, surely there are other people that you can get advice from, your friends perhaps.”

“I’ve asked some of my friends and they have told me that, because what happens in the marriage bed is a laying with one another in the Biblical sense, and because the church tells us what we can and can’t do in that area, that I should seek advice from the church and because, there are no nuns here, you are the person that I should ask.”

“You are still a virgin I gather.”

“Yes, you don’t have to ask that.”

“Well, when you are alone and in bed he’ll want to make love to you, that is he’ll want to place his penis into your vagina. As a virgin this will hurt the first time, that’s perfectly normal, but once it is done you’ll feel no pain.”

“But how will he get his penis into my vagina?”

“He’ll have an erection, that is his penis will get hard. Does this mean you have never seen him with an erection, or felt it getting hard when you kiss?”


“Has he ever placed his hands on your breasts or between your legs?”

“No! We are not like that, we wouldn’t do that.”

“I see.” He moved over and sat closer to her. “Let me tell you Theresa, if you are both as inexperienced as you say you are, it will have to be you that leads the way on the night. And to do that you’ll need to know a lot about both your body and his, about how they feel and what to do about this experience. For instance, what do you feel when I place my hand on your breast like this?” He cupped her breast in his hand. At first she tried to draw back from his touch but he persisted and she allowed his hand to remain where it was.

“It feels, nice.”

“And when I do this?” He felt around until he located her nipple under her dress and took it between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed it.

“That makes me feel tingly, it’s nice.” Theresa was aware of a new feeling in her vagina. Father Patrick caressed her breast for some minutes and she could feel a dampness spreading into her panties. This couldn’t be right, could it?

Father Patrick took her hand in his and placed it on his cassock between his legs. “Do you feel that? That’s an erect penis. Fred will have something like that and if you squeeze it you’ll feel that it is quite rigid and capable of penetrating inside Escort Tokat you.”

“It feels big, will Fred’s be the same as this?”

“All of them feel big when they are hard, some of them will be bigger than others and I don’t know if mine is bigger or smaller than Fred’s will be. Would you like to see it for yourself?”

“I suppose I need to know what one looks like ” He lifted his cassock and standing out from his naked body was the reason that he was so popular among some of the young women of the district. She stared wide eyed at it. “If Fred’s is as big as that I’ll never fit it inside me.”

“Don’t worry my dear, your vagina can stretch quite a bit, after all, when you have a baby it has to open up enough for the child to be born.”

“I still don’t know.” She wasn’t convinced.

“There is something you can do that will make it easier when the time comes. If you put a finger inside your vagina and move it in and out you will feel it getting moist. That is a natural lubrication to help you. When that happens, you should then place another finger inside and you’ll see that it stretches to allow that. When you’ve got two in you’ll be able to fit more in, with a bit of practice you could almost be able to fit your whole hand in although I don’t advise that.”

“It doesn’t feel right to me.”

“If it makes you feel better, I can use my finger to show you how it’s done.”

“All right. It won’t hurt will it?”

“No, I’m not going to break your hymen so it won’t hurt.” He reached under her skirt and her legs opened to his hand. He attempted to get past the elastic of her underwear and found that he couldn’t penetrate far enough for his finger to enter her. “You are going to have to take your underwear off so that I can touch you.”

Theresa obediently stood and removed the offending garment before sitting down and allowing him entry. His finger penetrated almost to the second knuckle before it encountered the obstructing hymen. Moving it around he gently stretched her until he was able to insert a second finger. “How does that feel?”

“It feels . . . . very . . . . nice . . . . so . . . . very . . . . nice.” Her hips were moving in time with his movement. “Oh my goodness, please don’t stop . . . . don’t . . . . st . . oh my God!” She reached her climax in a writhing, shuddering spasm. “Father, forgive me for my blasphemy, I don’t know what happened to me.”

“My child, you have just experienced your first orgasm. Now despite what your mother may tell you, there is nothing wrong with a woman having one each time she has sexual intercourse.”

“Will I have one each time I make love to Fred?”

“You will if you go about it the right way. Some men feel that all they have to do is to put their erect penis into a woman’s vagina until they have an orgasm and that is all there is to it, but there is no reason why the woman should not seek the same pleasure as the man, and if you learn how to manipulate it there is no reason why you shouldn’t.”

“How do I do that?”

“Let me explain about the erogenous zones in the body, your body. When I caressed your breast and your nipple you felt a sensation between your legs, in your vagina. That is because you have erogenous zones in your breasts, they make you feel aroused. You need to encourage Fred to caress you there as part of your foreplay. At the same time you can stroke his penis to arouse him.”

“You mean touch each other? I was told that I wasn’t to do that.”

“Who told you that?”

“My mother.”

“And your mother has probably never experienced the feelings that you just have.” He took her hand and placed it on his erection. “Now stroke it, don’t grip it too hard or you’ll hurt him.” He closed his eyes as she stroked him for several minutes before he put his hand on hers and stopped her. “Now, do you see how big and hard it is? It is now ready to be put inside you, I mean a woman.” He placed his hand over her vagina and pushed his finger inside her again. When she began to squirm under his touch he pushed back the hood covering her clitoris and rubbed it.

“Oh!” She said nothing for several minutes until after she had her orgasm. “What did you do there?”

“Did you like it?” She nodded her head. “What I touched was your clitoris, the most sensitive part of your body. During foreplay you should encourage him to touch you there, it will increase your chances of having an orgasm. There is another part of foreplay that you should try, it’s oral sex.”

“What do you mean? It sounds dirty.”

“Many men like to have the woman suck on their penis, some even enjoy ejaculating into the woman’s mouth and the woman, even though she doesn’t get the same pleasure from it, will do it to please her man. You should try it. At the same time the man can, by manoeuvring the right way, lick your vagina, this gives you great pleasure and is called the sixty-nine position. I’m told that it is highly thought of by the French and they are great lovers.”

“I still don’t know about this.”

“And Tokat Escort Bayan you’ll never know unless you try it. If you like I’ll go first and lick your vagina, then, if you feel like it you can suck on my penis.” He knelt between her legs and began to lick her, concentrating on her clitoris until she begged him to stop.

“I want to do it to you, how can we do it to each other at the same time?”

“If you lay on the floor, on the rug, I can lay on top of you, that way you can suck me while I lick you.” She lay back on the floor and he lay on top of her making sure that his weight wasn’t on her. They began to pleasure each other until he stopped what he was doing to tell her that he was about to have his orgasm. Theresa didn’t stop until after he had filled her mouth.

She spat it out with a grimace. “I didn’t really like the taste of it, but I suppose if Fred wants to do it I can get used to it.” Father Patrick had resumed his licking and she was rapidly approaching her next orgasm. When it had subsided she began to feel guilty at what they had just done. “We shouldn’t be doing this, after all I’m getting married in three months.”

“But if you know what you are doing in the marriage bed you’ll be a better wife for him.”

“What if I don’t want to have a baby straight away?”

“You know that the church doesn’t allow anything other than the rhythm method.”

“I’ve heard of it but no-one has told me how it works.”

“It’s based your menstrual cycle. Do you know how many days there are between the beginning of one cycle and the next.”

“I’m not sure, I’ve never counted them, they just happen.”

“For this to work you have to know how many days there are between them, it’s very important because for twelve days after your menstrual cycle ends you run a very high risk of getting pregnant if you have sex, then for the next however long until your cycle begins again there is less risk, and during the cycle it is safe although many women don’t want to do it then because of the bleeding.”

“That sounds complicated.”

“Do you keep a diary?”


“Right, what I want you to do is to keep a record of your menstrual cycle, when you start bleeding and when it stops, then the number of days between the first day and when it starts next, can you do that?”


“Good, that will be all for now. If you have any other questions come and see me.” She put her underwear back on.

“Good night Father.”

He kissed her and ushered her to the door. “Go in peace my child.”

Three nights later she knocked on his door. “Father, I have given it a lot of thought, I want to learn more so that I can be the perfect wife for Fred.”

“I was expecting you, you see, I have found that once young women have been opened up to the true beauty of the role that God has for them in marriage they desire to know and experience more.”

“Yes, oh yes Father, I do, I want to know all that there is to know, will you teach me.”

“Come with me.” He led her to the overstuffed lounge. “Now, you remember that the last time you were here I taught you about the importance of foreplay in the love making between husband and wife, between man and woman?”


“Foreplay can begin with something as simple as an intimate touch, for instance, if I were to touch you lightly on the breast like this.” His hand brushed her breast, Theresa barely felt the touch but the electricity that passed between them she definitely felt. “You will feel a sensation that could lead to you wanting to make love, with your husband.”

“Oh yes, I felt that.”

“You should encourage that as part of foreplay. You can do that by brushing the front of his trousers, would you like to try it?” She brushed his cassock but was wide of the target. “No, you have to brush where his penis is.” She tried again and this time her touch was met by his erection, she instinctively grasped it in her hand. Father Patrick held her hand to prevent her from removing it. “That’s it, if he reacts as I have you will know that he wants to make love to you.”

“I do, I mean, I will.”

“The next step is the undressing, if you really want to please each other you will undress each other.” He began to loosen her clothing, he unlaced the front of her blouse and pulled it from her skirt, his hands moving under it and over her flesh and caressing her breasts, her nipples, and as he caressed he slowly raised the garment and lifted it over her head. His mouth found her nipple and he began to suckle on it.

“Should we be doing . . . Oh,” He gently nipped her nipple. “Don’t stop, I want to know it all. I want to feel it all.” He continued to kiss her and as he did he loosened the waist of her skirt and underwear and pushed them down over her hips and continued to kiss down her body until he reached her pubic mound. His hand moved under the underwear and he began to massage her clitoris.

“Now you must undress me.” She knelt at his feet and lifted the hem of his cassock and slowly lifted it, her hands sliding up his legs. She was surprised to find, when she reached where she had expected there to be underwear that he wore none and as the hem cleared his penis it was erect and waiting. She held the cassock in position and began to suck him.

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