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My car crash changed my life
A true story
So here I sit, with a costume pair of furry fox ears on my head, wearing high heels, wearing rainbow colored women’s leg warmers, wearing a bra, having sprayed a beautiful woman’s perfume on myself, stroking my cock, and wondering how I have been so fortunate to have gotten to a place in my life that I love as much as I do. I am starting to get a serious following of men online who enjoy my pictures and my videos, and who want to have sex with me. I absolutely love this life. What got me to the point where I am is quite an interesting story. And considering there have been quite a few men who have asked me about my past, how I got into cross-dressing, how I am able to expose myself as much as I do on the Internet, and such things, I thought about this and decided to let you guys know who I am and what got me here. By letting you know who I am will undoubtedly interest more of you into having sex with me. Which is what this is all about…letting me blow you, enticing you to fuck me, indulge in erotic role play, play out fantasies, and enjoy fetishes. I’m open to your sucking me and my fucking your ass by the way. Good, wholesome taboo male on male pleasures.
There is quite a bit to my story, and considering there are lots of details, I am going to do my best to make this as concise and readable as I can. I will explain that I am fully bisexual, and as of late I have an amazing fetish for and obsession with sex with men. Every day I become more consumed with passion for being myself, having a free spirit, exposing myself on the Internet through pictures and video, and advertising sincerely and openly for sexual relations with other men. Every day I become more comfortable and free with who I am, which is what I believe many men are attracted to. I am told that I am a sexy and attractive man as well as a woman when cross-dressed, but I know through conversations with other men that a big part of what is alluring is simply the fact that I can freely be who I am and show that the world without worrying about repercussions. That is going to be a big part of my story.
I grew up my whole life up until about 10 years ago fully heterosexual. I don’t think I ever had any thoughts about having sex with men, and I sure never thought that I would enjoy cross-dressing as well as acting as and being a woman deep in my heart. As I grew up, I remember things in my teens that make me wonder if those things didn’t have a latent subconscious effect on me as I grew older as far as finding my interest in men. For example, I remember driving with my mother when I was about 12, and she pointed to a house that we drove by and told me to stay away from that house because there was a man in there who liked little boys. I never understood what she meant by that but I stayed away from that house. There was another gay man who ran a store nearby, and there were numerous stories through the years that I heard about him and how he had seduced young man and had gotten caught in gotten quite a bit of trouble over. I don’t think I ever had any attraction to that, but I do remember feeling special when I was in his presence because he always smiled at me and treated me well.
Everything changed for me about seven years ago when I had to have a hip replacement. I have another blog that I have written about that story, so I won’t go into a lot of detail now but rather will describe how that experience fit into my overall story. I had a bad fall off a second story balcony quite a number of years ago when I was a college, and I hurt my neck and my back quite badly. What I didn’t know was that apparently I had also hurt my hip, which explains why I had so many sciatic nerve problems growing up. I was told by doctors and chiropractors that my neck and back pain were from my fall, but more than likely my hip pain was caused because of my back and neck pain. My hip deteriorated over the course of many years to the point where I absolutely had to have an emergency hip replacement. So I had the hip replacement done, and I was off work for about four months, sleeping a lot at home initially and then of course getting up periodically to start moving around to get my strength back.
At a point, because of how weak my left leg had become from a bad hip, it got to be frustrating trying to walk on that leg, so I got on the Internet and started to research how to strengthen your legs and your hips after having had a hip replacement. There were all kinds of suggestions, but the most unique one was a man talking about how he had tried wearing high heel shoes. After reading his story, and his alluding to the fact that women have such strong thighs and hips, it made perfect sense that wearing high heel shoes would be a good way to strengthen my hip and leg. So I got in my car and drove to a shoe store, already having figured out what size women’s shoes I needed to get, and I bought myself a pair of high heel shoes. I got home and put them on, never told my wife I had the shoes of course, but to my surprise the shoes actually did start helping me a lot and I wore them every day when my wife wasn’t home. What happened then was a major surprise to me, and that was that I felt aroused by wearing high heel shoes. As time progressed, I started wondering what it would feel like to wear other items of women’s clothing. So I started sneaking my wife’s things, like bras, panties, blouses, skirts, stockings, and even tried perfumes every once in a while. It all kept building and I think without a whole lot of thought, this process snowballed to the point where I found myself wanting and needing to dress in women’s clothes every single day.
I started taking pictures of myself, to see what I looked like, and I loved what I saw. I am not at all a vain or arrogant person, but just being able to look at myself dressed as a woman changed my life in a major way. And once I started taking pictures, I started taking videos as well. And then I started posting myself online for people to see, and actually got very absorbed in the Craigslist sex ads. I found there were more and more men all the time finding me attractive and wanted to have sex with me. At first it was just fun and games, but then I started thinking in terms of actually wanting to have sex with men. I was on some pretty powerful painkillers at the canlı kaçak iddaa time, and that helped the overall sensation I was getting by doing all this and one thing led to another, and I started inviting men over to my house and I started giving them blowjobs. I used poppers too, which are a fucking trip. Loved them. I had never done such a thing before, and of course at first it was a bit awkward, but then I got to the point where I was addicted to sucking cock and swallowing cum. I loved when they moaned as I gave them pleasure, I loved the feeling of power and worthiness, I loved having cock in my mouth, and I especially loved when they shot their sperm and semen into my mouth and I swallowed. That is such an interesting thing to do if you haven’t done it before, as it’s very sticky and somewhat difficult to swallow. It feels like sticky satin, and every man tastes different. And once sperm and semen get into your stomach, you have to get used to the feeling, at least I did, of feeling like you might get sick. But I never did and I continued giving blowjobs, not many but enough for me to know that giving blowjobs was something that would be very important for me through the rest of my life. I’ve given maybe ten blowjobs.
I advanced a bit in this whole process by buying my own clothes, and started wearing wigs, which was probably the most exciting and liberating of all the things that I have done related to being a cross-dresser as well as becoming transfixed on being a woman in a man’s body. I love that more than anything. I bought a 9 inch dildo, and I started inserting that into my ass. Anyone who has done such a thing knows how much it hurts initially especially, but after it’s done enough times, it becomes insanely pleasurable and erotic. I have pictures online, as well as a video or two of me taking this big dildo into my ass and love watching it myself time to time. Although I have done that a number of times, and have actually an assortment of different sized dildos now, I have not let men fuck me in the ass yet. I’ve tried and enjoyed sucking on my dildos straight out of my ass…different, but I’ve come to like the taste of myself. That is my number one fetish right now, to dress as a woman, to tease and flirt with men, to let them fondle me, kiss, suck on their cocks and lick their bodies, with everything culminating in having men fuck me in my ass bareback. I’m sure I will start with condoms to be safe, but I am quite interested in meeting men who I feel safe with and who want to ejaculate inside my body. Having the mind as I do, it not only arouses me to have men fuck me, but I find it delicious to think about men ejaculating inside my body, whether in my mouth and/or in my ass, and my body absorbing these sperm cells into my cells, whereby I become a small part of these men. This isn’t something I’ve made up, I’ve actually read about this and it’s true that when you absorb cells, especially through your stomach digestion through your intestines, you do indeed absorb other people’s cells and you become a minute part of them. I find that to be unbelievably sensual.
Everything was going along as I have detailed above until about three years ago, when I had a series of really bad things happen in my life. My mom had a stroke, months after my dad died, and a few people ended up getting cancer in my family, including my ex-wife. I ended up having to leave my job in order to take care of my responsibilities, and had the full intention of getting another job after everything is settled down. But it didn’t quite settle down and I was out of work for quite some time. My wife and I burned through most of our savings at that point, and she had found out about my cross-dressing and had always suspected I had cheated on her. So in mid 2017, she filed for divorce and that’s when major things started to change relative to my life the way it was then in my life the way it is now. I ended up drinking a lot throughout all these bad occurrences, and in the summer of 2017 I ended up in a bad car crash that was DWI related, and was a devastating accident for anyone to have to experience. I hit a tree in my truck while going about 70 mph, and I was wearing no seat belt. It was a big tree and it didn’t move. I did though.
I ended up in the hospital with horrifying injuries, and I was laid up on my back for over two months because my injuries were so bad I was not allowed to get up out of bed. I died three times in the hospital, broke my neck and my back, broke my collarbone, shattered my pelvis, broke two ribs and punctured my lungs, and I lacerated internal organs including my liver and my bladder. I had to have multiple surgeries in order to not only keep me alive, but to stabilize me so that I had a chance of recovering. Doctors had no idea how bad things were initially, though they knew that there were chances I would never walk again or be able to have even remotely a normal life. I ended up paralyzed for a while because of shattered vertebrae in both my neck and my back. The doctors stabilized both my neck and my back by fusing vertebrae and also putting rods and plates in both my neck and back. At that point I was put in a d**g-induced c*** for a couple weeks so that there was no chance that I would move it all and disrupt the complexity of the surgeries. When I was taken off the d**gs, they discovered that I was paralyzed from the neck down. That required further surgeries that got my feeling back, but introduced new complications in my life going forward.
My hospital stay is something that I have not shared with many people, and I won’t go into a whole lot of detail now except to outline some of the complications I had because of what it happened. Because of how bad my neck injury was as well as how invasive the next surgeries were, doctors had to put a breathing tube down my throat for a good number of weeks. I couldn’t talk, so I had no way of letting doctors or nurses know what was making me uncomfortable. There was a terrifying experience in and of itself. And because I had the breathing tube down my throat for so long, I couldn’t eat and I lost close to 50 pounds over the course of the 2 1/2 months I was on my back. What complicated the weight loss was the fact that I had had such extensive injuries to my internal organs, doctors were not able to put canlı poker oyna a feeding tube into my stomach, so that furthered not only my weight loss but also brought on severe muscle loss as well as atrophy. After about six weeks or so under these conditions, they were finally able to get the breathing tube out and they were able to put a feeding tube into my stomach. I had to learn how to eat and swallow food again, and because of the atrophy I had in my body, I pretty much lost all strength in and control of my arms and my hands. The physical therapy aspect of my hospital stay for the last month or so is a story in and of itself which I will not get into here. But suffice it to say that I went through horrors that not many people will be able to relate to. A lot of this is very indescribable really, but I will be writing memoirs related to this and I might even write a blog and put it online here. I’m not going into further detail because I figure some people will have weak stomachs and not want to read about and try to understand what I had to go through.
I got out of the hospital late 2017, and because of how badly my pelvis had been shattered, I was told that I would never walk again. When I was discharged from the hospital I was in a wheelchair, my wife’s divorce had gone through already, I had no money, no friends and family anywhere near this area because I’m not from here, I had no way of getting transport anywhere, and I had nowhere to stay. I was taken directly to court after they discharged me from the hospital to take care of my legal obligations, and because of the extent of my injuries the court let me go on my own recognizance and I was brought to social services to get help with housing. I was housed in a very remote motel, with no stores anywhere near, with a food stamp card that had $200 on it. The nearest stores were over a mile away, and I had no way to get there except to try to wheel myself in the wheelchair. After two days in this motel, I got so hungry I decided I was going to try to wheel myself that far because I hadn’t eaten. I wheeled myself over to the motel door, and looking out I realized that the roads and sidewalks have been torn up because of construction going on. Even if I had the strength to wheel myself over a mile in a wheelchair on the sidewalk, I couldn’t because everything was being worked on and it was impossible for me to do that. Being as hungry as I was, I realized the only way for me to eat was if I got up and walked over a mile into town to get to the store by myself. Which is what I did. I walked all the way to the stores, stopping periodically along the way to rest, but I bought food and I walked back to the motel and ate what was a very low quality choice of food that I picked out unfortunately, but it was the best meal I’ve ever had in my life considering the circumstances. That’s when true humility came into my life. I was in a nasty motel that you would see in horror movies, I had no one to talk to or help me with things, and I had lousy food. But I realized at that point how fortunate I was just to have a roof over my head and food in my belly. That’s when everything started to work in my favor to get me to where I am today.
I have spent the last two years resting, healing, and trying to make sense of what happened to me. It is truly been a remarkable experience on mental, spiritual and physical levels. I learned a lot about myself, a lot about others, and a lot about the world. Through fortunes of family inheritance etc., I was able to secure a small sum of money, and I was able to get away from social services and got into my own apartment. That was when my life started to take a turn for the best. The healing initially took a long time as far as my being able to walk again, and incidentally I never did sit back down in the wheelchair after I got back from walking into town to get my food. I decided that I was going to walk regardless of what the doctors told me. Through social program help, I was able to get to physical and occupational therapy to help me recover from my injuries, my muscle atrophy, and my weight loss. It’s been a very tedious, painful, and frustrating process, but I never lost sight of where I wanted to get, which is right here.
I have found myself a nice, clean apartment in Avon NY. I live a fairly normal life, especially considering the extent of my injuries and the poor diagnoses that I got while I was in the hospital. Once I started to feel much better, I started to secure women’s clothing again and now I live in my apartment by myself, divorced, and I am able to wear what I want, when I want, and I am now searching for men to experience sensual, erotic, taboo and societally unappreciated sexual times with. It’s been a few years, but I’m going to start by giving blowjobs again. My living arrangement right now is that I can’t host for the time being, but in about a month when certain people leave this building, I will be inviting men here for erotic fun. I want so badly to kiss men on the lips, kiss and lick their bodies, sucked her nipples, smell and taste their bodies, softly fondle and lick their testicles and scratch gently the inner thighs. I can’t wait to get men’s cocks into my mouth, where I magically use my hands, fingertips, lips, tongue, mouth and throat in only the way I could do to pleasure and relieve men of their hormones and their sperm into my mouth. Although I do have somewhat submissive tendencies, I am also interested in being the aggressor. I love having men suck me as well. And the thing that I have not said much about is how absorbed I am with the thought of finally having anal sex with men.
Ass is such an unusual thing, quite nasty really, so the idea of anal is I think initially more of a fantasy than anything else. I love the thought of looking men’s asses, as well as fucking them, but it all depends on circumstances of course because of how dirty that kind of play is. I practice using a douche bottle to clean myself out, so when men do finally fuck me in the ass, it will be about is clean as it can possibly be because of my attention to cleanliness and hygiene. I have different things play out in my mind as far is what position I would be in when a man enters me etc. I think I would love any position, like having a man on his back and straddling him and writing internet casino him while I call him daddy, as well as being on all fours with my ass up in the air letting a man come from behind and going as deeply as he can. I want to experience the pain and the pleasure from having cock inside me, and I especially am enamored with the thought of how wonderful it will feel to have men ejaculate inside me. I will do this with some men dressed as a woman, but I know some men prefer not to have sex with men who cross-dress, and I have is my goal a directive that I will do whatever men want me to do. So if I choose to have sex with you, you choose if I am a man or a woman when we have sex. If things were to get comfortable enough, I’d love to take showers with men, cleaning and licking their assholes.
Now for the fun part about me. After getting through the experience I’ve had the past two years, I have opened up my mind and my existence in a way that I don’t know I’ve ever seen anybody else do. I have no inhibitions, so I don’t mind if anybody knows that I have sex with men or even that I cross-dress. I’m not out to the point where I advertise it, except on private adult dating websites, so in some regards I am actually quite private about this because it’s always behind my close doors. I love taking pictures and videos of myself and exposing myself on these adult websites for other men to enjoy, whether men masturbate to me, chat with me, or eventually do meet with me for sexual interludes. I am open to many levels of experimentation, and my only hard limits I have at this point are blood and s**t. I love role play, I am open to playing with couples, as well as groups. I am determined to eventually find men who will have sex with me while we are being watched, and I want to have pictures taken, as well as videos, of me with cock in my mouth and cock in my ass for others to enjoy. I’m not looking for anybody else’s faces to be exposed, just mine.
I have my apartment now set up the way I always dreamed of being able to set it up like. I have dozens of pairs of high heel shoes, dozens each of bras, panties, wigs, breast forms, an upper female body suit, life size and life like sex dolls (one male and one female), jewelry items, bikinis, and other related items like purses, pink slippers, pink bathrobes, pink carpets and more. I have set up for lights in my living room, which will become the man sex room, that have pink light bulbs in them that when all other lights are turned off, it makes for a very sensual gay feel for having sex with other men. I also got some LED light bulbs in other lamps that allow you to dim the bulbs as well as choose any color you want, which also makes for a very erotic and tasty ambience for having sex. I have two computer monitors facing me on my desk, the main big one which I use for browsing the Internet, any other computer work I want, and I have another that I have set up that displays either constant porn videos or constant porn pictures. So as I sit at my computer and I do my work, I am constantly seeing tits, pussy, cock and balls, and my favorite, ass holes. I watch all kinds of erotic videos, anything from straight porn to lesbian to gay to sissy indoctrination and training to even b********y, which I happen to like a lot. I watch lots of the sissy training videos, and I especially love watching men fuck each other in the ass.
I am out of work right now, and my days usually start with waking up, turning everything on and starting everything up, and coffee, and sitting here flirting with everybody, stroking myself, posting my pictures and videos online, and looking at videos and pictures of all kinds of extravagant sexual situations. I choose different women’s articles to where every morning, starting usually with high heels and then building with one item at a time throughout the day. I love the gay look, and I have lots of items that are gay more so than being cross-dressing types of items. I love chokers and collars, I love perfumes, and I am really starting to enjoy wearing different wigs. I have about 20 wigs now, and I have another 10 or so coming. I am always buying new things, mostly for my own expression and enjoyment, but as I do this of course I take pictures and videos and post those online in hopes of luring men into my pink gay sex room for inconceivable pleasures and eroticism. I am very clean, was tested a few months ago completely clean of any kind of sexually transmitted diseases, I am very thoughtful, funny, deep, intelligent, laid-back, gentle… You get the idea.
I have a lot more that I would like to say, and I will probably outline in detail more about me and other blogs in the future. I at least wanted to get this one done to explain to some of you what is happened to me over the the last two years, especially those of you who have questioned whether I am real or fake, whether I really do meet men are not. I assure you I am real and I am looking for men. There are caveats to this you must understand. My type of man I am willing to me is outlined in my profiles on various websites where I post my material. I am not doing this out of desperation, but rather a scripted design whereby I am getting as much out of this as the men who I meet. We all are either attracted to others or we aren’t, and that is a reality I live and I don’t mince words about it. If I’m not interested in meeting with you I’m not going to. I love when men flirt with me, and I will entertain meeting as long is you approach this the way I do. I have no interest in anybody wanting to meet without my getting to know that person. Anyone who doesn’t understand what I mean, in deference to how callous and irresponsible people can be, won’t at all be a candidate for meeting with me. I am selective, and I’m going through a process of getting to know some of you guys. I will meet soon. My goal is to meet a certain number of men and offer my pink man sex pad to those men any time day or night.
I am open to meeting any time during the day or night, I’m open to meeting short term as long as I know who you are and have met you before, I will meet you during the day, and I will host a select number of men overnight. This is going to be erotic and a lot of fun, and I’m not going to be allowed to be deterred from my goals. I’m as free as anyone you know, and my recent experiences have led me to expand my love for you and myself every day. I want to pleasure you out of love for you as much as for the sexual gratification. Thus there is passion, love, caring, and so much more I’ll use in my pleasures with you.
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