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My last tale (Forever Autumn) wasn’t exactly a bundle of laughs so I thought I’d make amends by indulging in a little more whimsy (and hope to please those of my readers who have told me I should write more tales like this).

Characters in sex scenes are eighteen years old or over. All characters and places are imaginary—any resemblance to persons living or dead would be astonishing. With acknowledgements to Scheherazade whose umpteenth tale inspired this story and to Billy Wilder’s 1959 film Some Like It Hot for inspiring about half-a-dozen lines of the tale’s dialogue.

This story is dedicated to Sabina who enjoyed my Space Oddity tales.

Copyright © 2019 to the author

Harem Scarum

Aladdina’s eyes widened and a tiny sigh of longing escaped her lips. This was her favourite bit of the harem’s day: the Princess Yasmin was about to take her bath.

Oh, there were plenty of other visual delights in the huge chamber, most of the Sultan’s hundred or so beautiful wives, concubines and hand-maidens lolling around nude to combat the seasonal heat. And there were always the ones apparently without shame who passed the time by masturbating openly or kissing and licking other women’s yonis as ladies of quality called their sweet shaven clefts. Aladdina, being by birth and inclination a street girl, preferred the blunter terms of the market place such as ‘pussy’ or ‘quim’.

(The first time she had spied on the harem, an enchanted Aladdina had returned home to ask her mother, Saadia, the best way to remove hair from her pussy. In Aladdina’s opinion, she was cursed with more pubic hair than any woman deserved to be. Saadia had shaken her head, wearied by some of the grandiose ideas that her daughter came home with at times. “Aladdina, you are day-dreaming again. Smooth pussies are for grand ladies, not those of us who have to earn a living, although goodness knows you do little enough of that. Such frivolities are not for the likes of us. A very hairy pussy is good enough for me and was good enough for your grandmother and for her mother before her so be satisfied with your lot in life and be grateful for your plentiful hairiness.”)

So Aladdina could only envy the smooth pussies of the harem ladies. Yet all feelings of envy paled when the princess came from her inner chamber, shed her flimsy robe and allowed her hand-maidens to lead her into the bath’s clear water and shampoo her lissom body all over. Aladdina believed, although she couldn’t be certain, that the princess often had a climax when her pussy was being washed. Aladdina sighed again. Her all-pervading day-dream was that one day, by some miracle, she would be able to take the princess as a bride.

Aladdina had been in the market place one morning when the princess and her entourage had passed by. A sudden gust of wind had whipped at the palanquin’s curtain which had rippled open by the merest fraction and Aladdina had caught a fleeting glimpse of the Princess Yasmin’s unveiled face. Aladdina fell instantly in love.

She shifted a little on her uncomfortable perch. Aladdina had found this place some weeks previously during one of her rare occasions of honest employment. She had been helping a local trader deliver some goods to the palace and, growing bored while he dealt with the Sultan’s treasurer, had wandered off to have a look around, see if there might be some easy pickings. And it was here that she had discovered the high wall surmounted by a trellis of arabesque carvings. Beyond, Aladdina could hear the chattering of women and spotting a narrow ledge climbed up and peered through the trellis. It was the harem and there was the princess.

Since then—and having found several breaches in the citadel’s surrounding walls—Aladdina had sneaked into the palace whenever she could evade the guards and made for this point where she could gaze into the harem. She always carried a wicker basket with her so that if questioned she could claim to having been delivering goods.

But on this day Aladdina had grown careless, paying no attention to anything but the Princess Yasmin and other residents of the harem. Without warning, a huge hand gripped the back of her neck and she was hauled from the ledge and plonked on the marble flooring. She found herself staring into the fierce hawk-like eyes of a Sultan’s janissary.

And not only his eyes were fierce. His huge hooked nose was fierce, his bristling black whiskers were fierce, and above all the long curved dagger held against Aladdina’s throat was fierce. In fact, ‘fierce’ was an inadequate word for that weapon. Something about it made Aladdina glad that she’d gone to the privy before leaving home that morning.

“Sooo!” hissed the soldier, glaring down on the boyish figure before him. “What’s this? A dirty dog of a snooper, eh? Do you know what we do with dirty dogs of snoopers?”

Gulping, Aladdina shook her head.

“We casino siteleri cut their dangling bits off!” snarled the janissary, “And when we’ve cut their dangling bits off we cut their heads off. So say goodbye to all three, you little wretch!”

“You’ll have a hard job cutting my dangling bits off,” said Aladdina.

“Why’s that? And don’t think you can camelshit me—I’ve heard all the excuses!”

“Because I haven’t got any,” Aladdina told the man, loosening the front of her tunic to reveal neat little breasts with prominent nipples.

The guard goggled then roughly tugged the front of Aladdina’s pantaloons open to peer down. “You’re a girl!” He looked puzzled. “Now here’s a dilemma. We’ve been told what to do with dirty dogs of snoopers but not what to do with curious cats of snoopesses.” He stroked his oiled beard then leered. “There is something we can do and if it pleases me I might forget I’ve ever seen you.”

Aladdina knew exactly what was in this lecher’s pinhead of a mind. “You mean…”

“Yes, my pretty desert flower, that’s what I mean. I have a most impressive zabb.”

“They all say that you braggart,” she scoffed, “Prove it!”

Aladdina had often come across the janissary’s type in the market place. Her slender build led some of them to take her for an effeminate young man as the janissary had at first; the more astute recognised her for what she was, an attractive young woman. But whatever they thought she was, they all wanted the same thing, to cram one or another of her orifices with their stiffened zabbs. Aladdina knew exactly how to handle them.

Offended by the apparent disbelief and mockery, the soldier lowered the front of his trousers. Although not in the least interested in what lurked beneath men’s nether garments, Aladdina had to admit his boast was not an idle one. His zabb resembled one of the huge sausages she had seen hanging in the market place while his cods were like two small melons.

“Not bad,” she nodded, “but it’d be so much more convenient if you put that knife down and removed your britches completely.”

Smirking, the janissary laid his dagger carefully on the floor and stripped his trousers off. And that was when Aladdina handled him the way she handled the market place perverts: she gave him a well-aimed kick where it hurt. While the man squirmed cursing on the ground, Aladdina picked up his trousers, pitched them over the wall into the harem and was rewarded by a chorus of startled screams. She grabbed her wicker basket and ran. She dashed round a corner and ran straight into the arms of a gigantic eunuch rushing the other way to investigate the uproar. The scimitar he carried was so large that Aladdina flinched at the sight of it, believing for a moment that her time had come.

Instead the giant grabbed Aladdina by one arm. “Who are you?” he demanded, “You’re not one of the palace servants. What are you doing here? What’s all that screaming? And why are you in such a hurry?”

Aladdina held up her empty basket. “Please sir, I’ve just made a delivery and on my way out I saw a soldier peeping through a gap at the top of that big wall down there. He took off his trousers and threw them over the wall and that’s when the screaming started. Sir, he was not wearing any under-garments and he waggled his zabb at me! He ran at me shouting, ‘You’ll do, girl, get your pants off!’ so I kicked him hard and ran!” Aladdina lowered her eyes modestly and gave a little sniffle as if holding back a tear. “Oh, sir! I was so frightened! His pizzle was truly enormous and I’ve only got a tiny lady’s garden.”

The eunuch freed her arm and made for the corner. “Spying on the harem, was he? And throwing his trousers at them. Right! off come his dangling bits and then his head. And you run along home, girl. No reason for you to be frightened now.” He sped off, waving his scimitar and shouting wrathful words. Head cocked to one side, Aladdina waited and listened.

“See how you like this, you bawdy bugger!” she heard the eunuch roar. There followed a number of ominous noises. First was a swish! thunk! followed instantly by “Aaarrggh!” followed by another swish! thunk! followed by splatter! then thud!, bounce… bounce… bounce… trickle…trickle…trickle… “That should teach you not to play dirty dog of a snooper at the harem or waggle your zabb at innocent young delivery girls!”

Laughing, the innocent young delivery girl ran all the way to the market place having decided that she’d best stay away from the palace for a while.

Turkish delights

Despite her self-imposed absence from the palace, Aladdina didn’t completely forgo the pleasure of looking at naked women. The bathhouse was ideal for surreptitious peeping and then there was Zehra, the baker’s wife. Zehra, said to have come from Turkey for an arranged marriage, would take herself to her chamber at the height canlı casino of the day and recline naked on her couch in order to play with her pussy. Aladdina had discovered this quite by accident. The baker was a miserable, miserly old wretch whose plump and pretty wife was many decades younger than he. Several times a week he would visit his friend the grain-seller, another misanthrope, and they would sit and share a hookah, drink endless cups of mint tea and grumble about today’s youth until they heard either a call of nature or the call to evening prayer.

When Aladdina saw him heading towards the grain-merchant’s shop, and knowing that his workers were taking their midday meal, she would snoop around hoping to find a loaf or two to filch. It was on one of these occasions that she became aware of the baker’s wife’s habits and found a place on the balcony from which she could watch. Aladdina saw nothing wrong with this—she loved looking at women’s unclad bodies and relished the sight of them whenever she had the chance. Zehra’s self-pleasuring was an added bonus.

The baker’s wife eventually caught Aladdina out. She thought she glimpsed movement outside of her window and without bothering to cover herself called: “Come and show yourself or I’ll scream for help.” Her sheepish watcher crept into the room.

“Why, you’re Aladdina, the seamstress’s daughter. Why were you spying on me, Aladdina? Do you like looking at me when I haven’t got any clothes on?”

A mortified Aladdina nodded. “You’re beautiful with or without clothes but I like it best when you’re naked.”

“How old are you now, Aladdina?” Zehra asked, pleased by the compliment, “And why are you not yet betrothed to some handsome young fellow?”

“I’m twenty,” muttered Aladdina, “and I’m not betrothed because my mother can’t afford a dowry. Anyway, I don’t care for men that way, handsome or not. They’re all rough and smelly and I don’t like their flippy-floppy bits. I prefer delicious perfumed women, soft-bodied with dainty pussies.”

Zehra perked up, evidently interested. “Ah, perhaps we can both benefit from this. Would you like to take your clothes off for me, Aladdina? After all, you can see my delights so it’s only right that I see yours.”

Aladdina was overjoyed at the chance to show off. “Oh yes, willingly.” She wore only her brief tunic top and her pantaloons so she was naked in a trice.

“Hmmm! what a darling little body,” Zehra murmured in appreciation, “Now you may have seen me playing with myself, Aladdina. I have to do this because my miserable old fool of a husband’s pizzle is so shrivelled and useless he’s unable to give my yearning quim the satisfaction it craves. Anyway, like you I don’t much care for men¾my father owed old sourface a sum of money and I was used to pay off the debt. Tell me, Aladdina, would you care to help me out by playing with my quim?” When Aladdina eagerly agreed, Zehra spread her legs and added: “Come along then. As you may see from the way my pussy glistens, I’m very aroused already. You can use your fingers or tongue or better still, both.”

Aladdina decided that both was the better option and she revelled in tasting and exploring Zehra’s slippery wet pussy with its enchanting folds and darling little pearl. Aladdina had often tasted pussy, usually with other market girls and in secluded spots, but nothing in her life so far equalled the sweetness of Zehra’s quim. When she had pleased Zehra sufficiently, the baker’s wife gave her a basket of fruit and sesame buns to take home. No need to steal anything this time (except perhaps from the fish and meat sellers whose wives were old and ugly).

Aladdina continued her occasional liaison with Zehra but missed her forays to the palace. However, she decided she’d rather not risk her head and so confined herself to dreaming at night of the Princess Yasmin.

Splitting hairs

Eyes, dark almost to the point of being black, had been watching Aladdina for a number of days. The eyes’ owner lurked in narrow alleyways or mingled with a crowd or flitted in and out among the market stalls. The watcher’s dark-coloured djellabah was so loose and so long, with such a deep concealing hood, that it was impossible to tell whether it was man or woman. Every once in a while when watching Aladdina, the figure would produce a scroll from its sleeve and consult the strange writing thereon. From the words inscribed by a long-dead astrologer, Aladdina, the seamstress’s daughter, fully fitted the description of the chosen one. Satisfied at length, the watcher set about putting the plan into action, firstly by making a number of purchases in the market place.

* * * * *

Near sunset Aladdina checked her leather satchel. Tonight it contained two small fish, a couple of flatbreads and a pair of bruised oranges. She always returned home in the evening with enough food for a simple meal. Saadia kaçak casino knew that her daughter rarely had honest work so never asked where the food had come from—she knew she wouldn’t care for the answer. But on this particular evening…

As Aladdina stepped through the doorway of their humble dwelling she was assailed by a variety of the most delicious food-smells and her eyes widened. A white cloth containing a wonderful selection of eatables was spread on the carefully swept floor. There was a large dish of mishmisheya la kama [a spicy vegetable and fruit casserole], a huge salver piled with a steaming mountain of rice and fowl and chunks of roasted lamb, various breads and an assortment of fresh fruit including peaches, pomegranates, dates and figs. To one side were jugs of sherbet to wash the food down. Never in her life had Aladdina seen such a feast and she doubted that Saadia had. “Mother, where…?”

Saadia smiled. “This is a gift from your cousin Dhelibheli,” she said, pointing to a tall figure in a gloomy corner of the room.

Aladdina looked puzzled. “I didn’t know I had a cousin called Dhelibheli.”

The figure stepped from the shadows, revealing itself to be a handsome woman of noble bearing. “I was a distant cousin of your dear late father,” the woman explained. “I was cast from the family when your father and I were only youthful and I have spent the intervening years travelling the lands of the Orient and Africa. I have but recently returned to find to my distress that your father is no more. But I will do what I can for his lovely wife and daughter. First, let’s eat…”

As they tucked in, Dhelibheli regaled Aladdina and Saadia with entertaining tales of her travels in exotic lands. When all had eaten as much as they could manage, Dhelibheli said: “I have a venture in mind, a venture that could profit you greatly and improve your quality of life, but I need Aladdina’s help to carry it out. It will mean setting out early tomorrow morning but you will reap rich rewards. What say you, Aladdina?”

Aladdina nodded, excitement shining in her eyes, even as Saadia said: “Is there danger involved?”

Dhelibheli waved a dismissive hand. “Nothing more dangerous than a tiring journey and Aladdina is young enough to cope with that. Now, I suggest that we sleep so as to make an early start.”

“As you can see, cousin, our home is a humble one. I have only a small pallet bed while Aladdina has a slightly larger one if you don’t mind sharing with her although it’s still a bit cramped.”

“I think we’ll be comfortable together,” smiled Dhelibheli, “won’t we sweet one, even if we have to cuddle up together?”

The remains of the meal were cleared away then Aladdina went to her small alcove and doffing her clothing, slipped into bed naked as was her custom. A few moments later, Dhelibheli crept in beside her and spooned up against the girl. Aladdina felt that her cousin, too, was naked. Large breasts and hard nipples pressed into Aladdina’s back and Dhelibheli’s arm snaked around her, resting her hand a little below the younger woman’s boobs. She whispered: “Shh!” as Aladdina squirmed back, enjoying the feel of the woman’s body against her own.

A series of small kisses and licks played across on Aladdina’s neck and shoulders while long fingers reached to tweak her nipples. Dhelibheli’s hand moved downwards, caressing Aladdina’s belly until it reached her mound. Aladdina wriggled her bottom hard against Dhelibheli’s pussy drawing a sharp hiss of appreciation from the woman whose fingers began to explore more thoroughly.

“My, that’s quite a forest you’ve got there girl,” Dhelibheli teased as she gently tugged Aladdina’s bush, “It might take me a little while to find the entrance to paradise.” She continued to seek Aladdina’s cleft through the thick mass of pubic hair. “Oh, now here’s something. The pathway has suddenly become quite wet. Yes, I think I can find my way now.” She toyed with the girl’s slit for a few minutes and then slowly slid two fingers into her.

“Why, Aladdina, you are so tight, much the tightest pussy I’ve touched for a long time. What a pleasure for both of us. Now let’s see if I can find your pearl. Ah, there it is!” Her fingers stroked the inner walls of Aladdina’s pussy and she pressed and stroked her young cousin’s clit with her thumb. Aladdina caught her breath then came suddenly, hips jerking as she buried her mouth in her pillow to stifle ecstatic squeals. At the same time Dhelibheli grunted, wrapped a leg over Aladdina’s and pushed her quim hard against the girl. The younger woman felt slippery wetness between her buttocks and she grinned in the darkness. She wriggled her backside even closer into Dhelibheli and was rewarded with another couple of tiny satisfied grunts and a further spate of wetness running down her bum. Aladdina habitually brought herself off at night before sleeping but it had been so much more fun letting another do it for her.

Dhelibheli withdrew from Aladdina’s pussy and held her soaking fingers to the girl’s mouth. Aladdina eagerly sucked off the copious come then with a happy sigh settled down to sleep.

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