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I allowed my heart to flutter as I caught sight of my crush across the way. Walking so confidently, talking to his buddy, smiling easily. I allowed my eyes to linger for a few long moments as I continued on my way. It was time to get to class.
The problem, or at least one of my problems, was that he didn’t know me, nor I him. I had just run into him one day, and he checked all my boxes. We didn’t move in the same circles, didn’t have the same friends, so I didn’t even have the chance to flirt with him. Not that I was much of flirt anyway. I couldn’t very well just walk up to him and ask him out.
Over the semester I became very adept at stalking him. I learned his name, Jeff, and, alas, his girlfriend’s name. I learned which dorm he lived in, and that he like pepperoni pizza. I learned his major. It was all good fun, giving me something to do, a naughty little outlet for my loneliness. Besides, I didn’t have time for a boyfriend, my classes were keeping me busy. But a guy to squeeze me once in a while would be nice. When I got alone time in my shared dorm room, Jeff was usually the focus. That, and giving blowjobs.
You see, one of my fantasies was to blow a group of guys, which I had discovered was called a blowbang. I had given exactly one blowjob in my life, and it had been okay, cramped in the front seat. Now, giving blowjobs was my go to fantasy. On my knees in a locker room, in a forest, at the back of nightclub, sucking off stranger after stranger. Controlling their pleasure, feeling them cum in my mouth, swallowing their jizz, moving on to the next guy. I was usually fully dressed in these fantasies; this was all about me sucking dick. And so the semester went.
By October things had reached an equilibrium, and I felt a bit comfortable with my classes. There was a pre-halloween party, and Maggie convinced me to go with her and some other friends. It would be my first college party, but I really wasn’t that enthused. It was easy for me to blend into the background in class, but at a party it was kind of obvious that you’re standing on the wall looking like a loser. We got dolled up and headed out, a small girl gang moving through campus, joining others, heading out to party. The place was full, but not packed. A beer was put in my hand and I took a sip. Then blushed as I saw Jeff across the room. I gulped down the rest of my beer to the cheers of my friends and got a refill.
I kept a sly eye on Jeff, noting that he seemed to be alone. Noting he was just as hot as always. Seamlessly moving to a new room, not to follow him of course. Forcing myself to mingle, making small talk. Having another drink. Then another. Time blurred away and I lost track of Jeff, actually enjoying myself. And then, suddenly, there he was right next to me.
“Hello Kara, enjoying yourself?”
“Hey Jeff, yeah.”
“Hi, I’m Lacy.”
“And you are?” he asked, turning those sinful brown eyes to me.
“Amanda,” I managed to get out.
“Pleased to meet you. So, anyone have any plans for Halloween?”
I lost track of the conversation, staring at his profile for a moment too long. I managed to look to Lacy and picked up the conversation, about what costumes they were going to wear. Sexy witch for Kara, not surprising at the least. I could see why Jeff had come over, Kara was gorgeous. He’d probably take her home that night. I became aware I hadn’t said anything other than my name and felt the urge to say something just to show I wasn’t a total drunk loser. Lacy said something about Halloween being a time to dress your fantasy, but she was still looking for her inspiration.
“Everyone has a fantasy,” I blurted.
Jeff turned to me. “Now you have my full attention,” he grinned. “Anything good?”
I stared at him, dumbstruck, embarrassed, his soft pink lips right at eye level, just inches away.
“I…um…”
“Yeah? You just said everyone has a fantasy. What is yours?”
“I…um…,” I flailed, lost in his eyes.
His smiled deepened. “I bet it’s a good one, not some stupid ‘I wanna fuck a rock star’ thing. Come on, what is it? I saw something dance behind your eyes.” He smiled at me with the intensity of a thousand suns.
“I…um…,” my pulse starting to race. He could see right through me! He knew what I was thinking.
“Come on, Amanda. You’re a smart girl, aren’t you? I see you, sitting up front in Psych every class. Why are you taking class with us dolts? Shouldn’t you be taking Honors?”
“I…um…” I barely stopped myself from pointing out that Psych was a core requirement and it wasn’t offered as an Honors, plus I was already carrying 3 Honors classes. Hold up, he is in my Psychology class? How the heck did I not notice? Probably because I come to class early and leave late.
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” He winked, his full attention on me. I withered in his gaze, the pit in my stomach collapsing.
“I…um…”
“Deal?”
“Oh hell yeah,” Kara said from the side. “I totally want to hear your fantasy.”
He looked at escort izmir her but then glanced back to me, taking a drink and watching me over the rim.
“My fantasy,” he began, leaning in with a conspiratorial glance to Kara, “Is to get a blowjob in library. In the stacks. I’d be so exposed.” My mouth went dry. I took a gulp of beer. “Trying to stay quiet. Completely at the mercy of the girl. She could just walk away, I’d be trapped, pants around my ankles. You know they’d blame me.” He turned back to me, and I felt like I was impaled by his eyes.
“Fuck, that’s hot. I’d never leave a guy hanging like that. Damn. You want to hear mine?” He held my eyes for a few moments before turning to Kara.
“Absolutely.”
“I have this fantasy about being tied up. Or down, I guess. And then blindfolded.”
“Naked, I assume.”
“You know it. And then he puts headphones on me so all I can hear are tunes. Deaf, blind, naked, helpless.”
“Yeah, that’s fucking hot,” he smiled, tapping cups with her. “You got plans for next weekend? She giggled and acted coy. Of course. “You ready?” he grinned at me with a glance.
“I…um…” If anything, my internal tension had ratcheted up.
“Lacy?”
“Well, nothing serious. Just…fucking a rock star,” she shrugged weakly.
“On stage?”
“Ah, no, back at the hotel. Alone.”
“Hm. Good luck, I guess. Well, Amanda, looks like you’re up. We’ve told you ours. Yours?”
I swallowed helplessly, all eyes on me. The silence seemed to drag on. Finally I knew I had to talk.
“I…um…want to give a bunch of guys a blowjob. Like in a locker room.”
His smile returned. “Naked?”
“Ah…no. I’d be dressed.”
“How many guys?”
“Um…like six or so.”
“Yeah, that’s hot. Love it. You know these guys? Or just bust in to a locker room?”
“No, ah, they’re all strangers.”
“Fucking hot. See, I knew a smart girl like you would have a good one.” He stared into my soul as he took a drink, then turned. “So, Kara, do you have a blindfold?”
“No, nor do I have a four-poster bed.”
My mind drifted away from the conversation, lost in my fantasy, drunk enough not to be too embarrassed. Until the next morning when I woke and the memory flooded back. Oh my God what had I done. The humiliation drowned me like a wave. I could barely convince myself to leave my room to use the toilet. I was going to need to drop out of college! There was no way I could stay here. What had I been thinking, saying that out loud? I actually had Maggie bring me breakfast from the dining hall as I started to pack. Spoiler alert, I ended up staying in school.
A week passed, then another, and I survived. I had only caught glimpses of Jeff, mostly I kept my head down and my nose in my books. Oddly, my fantasy of blowing multiple guys had virtually vanished, supplanted instead by Jeff’s. Me, browsing the stacks, he finds me, we kiss and then I fall to my knees. Or I’m studying at a desk, he taps me on the shoulder and motions for me to follow. He picks a suitable location, and pushes down on my shoulder. I open his pants, he’s already hard, and eagerly take him into my mouth. Unknowing students walk by the aisle, not sparing a glance at the slut on her knees. Or maybe stopping to stare. With Maggie in the room just a few feet away, I was not getting the quality alone time my body craved. My panties were soaked daily.
Wednesday night, library, studying. Suddenly there was a knock on my desk. I looked up to see Jeff, and he motioned with his head for me to follow him. I swallowed. Holy shit, this was just like my fantasy, only now it was real. Did he really expect me to fulfill his fantasy and blow him? Was I going to? I rose silently and followed him into the stacks. He stopped and turned to me. My heart skipped a beat.
“Hey, you’re looking cute today,” he said quietly, his brown eyes sparkling.
“Oh, ah, thanks,” I stuttered, looking down at my faded sweatshirt.
“How are classes coming?” he asked.
“Oh, um, good. Yeah. Studying.” God, I loved the way his hair fell across his forehead.
“Got it, I won’t take up too much of your time.”
I couldn’t help but accept the implication that he was going to cum quickly. I glanced up and down the aisle we were in. One side ended at the windows, the other to a walkway by the wall. We were somewhat shielded from voyeurs, but anyone walking by would see me, on my knees, sucking him off. I found it terrifying, humiliating, and arousing at the same time. I would do it. He was still talking, and I wasn’t really paying attention, just nodding appropriately.
“So I figure six or so guys, it would be best if they weren’t from here. Which is cool, I have contacts. Good guys.”
Like, was I just supposed to drop to my knees? Or would he tell me to get down? I glanced at his crotch. Looked like a button fly. Or maybe a zipper, hard to tell. I yanked my eyes away.
“I’ll make sure there are no cell phones or recordings, no worries there, okay?”
“Yeah,” I agreed numbly, izmir escort bayan glancing at his crotch again.
“When are your mid-terms?”
“Oh, um, two weeks.” What a weird conversation to have with a girl that’s about to blow you. Who cared when my mid-terms were? My sweatshirt was way too hot.
“Great, I’ll set it up for that weekend. It’ll be like a reward for all your hard work. Cool?”
“Yeah, yeah. Cool.” What the hell was he talking about?
“Alright, see you around.”
And I watched him walk away. I stared at the vacant space he had just left, confused. Hey wait Jeff, you were going to force me to suck you off! He was gone. I wandered back to my desk, bewildered, and then replayed the conversation in my head. The room started to spin as I realized what he had actually been talking about. Holy shit, did I just agree to a blowbang? I held on to the desk for support as I tried to wrap my head around what had just happened. I had been so overwhelmed over the idea of giving a blowjob I had just acted like I was totally down to blow a bunch of strangers. I apparently looked so white that the girl across the desk asked if I was okay.
Maggie was in that night, so I couldn’t do anything. My mind, however, was completely fixated on what I had agreed to. Jeff, my crush Jeff, now thought I was eager to suck off a bunch of random dudes and was setting it up. I couldn’t even call him to tell him no, I didn’t have his number. The night was endless, my body on absolute fire as scenario after scenario forced themselves into my mind. Me on my knees. Hard throbbing cock after cock. There was no way I could do…that. Good girls don’t suck off a bunch of random men. Then again, a good girl wouldn’t have that as her number one fantasy. My body was shaking in need and it was all I could do keep my hands by my side. I resolved to confront him the next day and tell him that I wouldn’t do it. It was too risky.
But…what if it wasn’t? What if Jeff could really produce six anonymous cocks for me to suck? What if I could achieve my fantasy? Who gets to do that? It was crazy to even think about, but there was a chance, wasn’t there? It was never a good idea for a girl to trust a stranger, and for all intents and purposes Jeff was a stranger. But he seemed nice, right? What if he could make it happen? I shook my head, there was no way. I would have to confront him. I was not going to do it.
I got to class early as usual, and kept on looking back for Jeff to appear. By the time he did, it was seconds before class started. After class, the mad rush of students leaving plus me dropping my notebook slowed me down so much I completely missed him. Friday, eyes up and alert, I caught sight of him and raced across campus to cut him off. He was engaged in a conversation with a buddy, and when I tried to catch his attention he just gave me a fist bump and continued. I didn’t want to cause a scene, not in the middle of campus like that, so I just watched him leave.
Maggie went home that afternoon, leaving me the weekend alone. I had goals of studying, but before the hour was out I was already on a porn site watching a girl in a blowbang. I spent a huge portion of the weekend watching porn and masturbating. Girls sucking off guys, getting face fucked, swallowing multiple loads. After coming, sometimes I thought about what was going to happen. I felt a flash of anger, wondering if all Jeff thought of me was a cum dumpster. The thought was so hot I immediately started masturbating again. Amanda the Honors student cum dumpster. Fuck yeah. By the time Maggie returned my little clitty was sore.
Jeff was proving to be elusive, not that I really had his schedule or anything. I didn’t see him all week, I think he skipped class one day and entered from the door opposite from where I was waiting the other day. Friday night, library, getting late. My phone chirped with a text.
Hey, meet me at the Union.
My pulse quickened. It was almost time for me to go to my room anyway, so I packed up. All the way over I told myself I would tell him the deal was off. There was some sort of disturbance at the Union, and everyone was gawking at the ambulance as they stretchered someone out of the building. Suddenly he was beside me.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” I responded, having totally lost my train of thought.
“Let’s walk.” And so we did. “So, like, in your fantasy, do the guys grab your head or is it strictly hands off?” It was so conversational, like he was discussing the weather.
“I…um…,” I started, acutely aware we were walking on a sidewalk, and one that was not empty. “They can use their hands.”
“Well, you know, when guys are getting blown they can kinda get handsy. Face fuck okay?”
“Ah, no, I don’t think so.”
“Facial or swallow?”
“Swallow.” Good God, why waste all that delicious cum on my face?
“You deepthroat?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“You have given blowjobs before, right?”
“I, uh, yes.”
He turned to me. We were now kind of alone, in the izmir escortlar shadows that fall between buildings. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew I should be calling the event off, but technically he wasn’t talking about the event, just about my fantasy. My mind was completely in the gutter, ignoring the indignation of the angel on my shoulder.
“That didn’t sound terribly convincing.”
He held two fingers to my mouth. Butterflies filled my belly, but I opened my mouth and took him in, imitating giving head as we stood out in the open. My eyes locked with his as my knees grew even more wobbly. He finally pulled his hand back.
“Hm. Well, hopefully you can make up with enthusiasm what you lack in technique. So, are you a slut or a princess? What do you want to be called?”
My mind spun. Slut. Cum dumpster. Cocksucking floozie. Worthless whore. I could feel my face burn, imagining guys calling me names as I worked. However, the good girl in me won out.
“Princess,” I whispered. We started to walk again.
“Nice, princess. Fits you. So you’re in charge, just giving out pleasure. Got it. So, your studies going good? I don’t want to distract you too much.”
“No, I’m doing good.”
“Great. Glad to hear. Like I said, view this as a reward after long weeks of study.”
My brain snapped back into reality. I had to tell him I wasn’t going to go through with it.
“But listen, I am so honored that you trust me to make this work. I’ll get it all set up, keep you safe, and hopefully give you a night to remember. This is your dorm, right?”
He sounded so…sincere? Like he had gone through a lot of trouble for me and was just helping me?
“Uh…yeah, thanks.”
“I’ll be in touch,” he smiled again and walked away.
I stared after him, knowing I should call him back, but in the end just turning back to enter my dorm. Fuck. Was I really going to go through with this? My good girl voice was throwing a hissy fit, but my bad girl was in charge, woozy with arousal. Even with Maggie in the room I made time to study up on blowjob techniques. I hoped my studies would pay off, that I wouldn’t have to ‘make it up with my enthusiasm’. Not that I was going to go through with it, of course. I was an honors student who had only ever been with one guy, I was not going to make the leap to blowing a group of strangers. But it would be good to be prepared…right?
With midterms upon us, classes were light, and Maggie was spending even more time in the room. I had no avenue to let out my frustrations. The only way I could focus at all was to focus intensely on my studies. Even taking a break to get a drink led to glances at boys, wondering what they were packing. I was still in denial, convincing myself there was no way anything was going to happen in five days. Focus, Amanda. Four days. Focus. Three. Two. One. A text came in.
I’ll pick you up at 10 outside Henny.
My fingers trembled above the reply. The image of me, on my knees, an anonymous cock in my mouth, flashed through my mind. My mouth went dry and, well, another part of me went wet. I finally ignored my concerns and replied with an okay. Ten pm. I had a few hours. I took a shower, debated what to wear. All the while I was arguing with myself about going through with this. Jeff had probably gone through a lot of work to set this up, I couldn’t let him down, could I? What should a girl wear to a blowbang? I settled on a nice outfit, showing only a little cleavage, and my heels. My skirt fell to just above my knees. My makeup was light. I kept the actual thoughts about what was going to happen later out of mind. I was on autopilot and told Maggie I had a date.
I reached the corner at Henny’s right on time. A car pulled up, an Uber. He asked for Amanda and I got in, slightly panicked at not having Jeff around. I sent him a text, but it went unanswered. Twenty nerve racking minutes later, we pulled up in front of a fairly large house in the suburbs, and Jeff was waiting in the driveway. There was a yawning pit in my stomach. All my nerve deserted me and things became way too real. I got out anyway.
“Hey, glad you could make it.”
“Yeah, um, look I…”
“You’re looking cute tonight, look at you!” he smiled and I couldn’t help but blush as he led me up the walkway.
“Look, Jeff, I’m…”
“Nervous, I’m sure. Hey, it’s a big step! You’re taking control and making your fantasy become real.”
I felt anything but in control as he led me inside and then stopped.
“Jeff, like, I don’t…”
“Okay, just a few quick instructions. We’re big on consent, so if anything goes sideways for you, just say your name, first and last, and I’ll shut the whole thing down. Also, you have to ask for permission before sucking a cock. Got it? You’ll be great. So proud of you.”
And with that he led me in a few more steps through a door. It was like a living room, with six guys standing around. The bottom fell out of my belly. Six big men, not that I am particularly tall. Six hungry, ravenous men looking at me. Getting ready to devour me. It was as if a giant spotlight was shining on me, and I don’t do well in the spotlight. I was rooted to the floor. They all seemed older, like juniors or seniors. Jeff pulled me forward.
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